Aundama
by Elanthra
Summary: Todd needs John. John probably needs Todd. They have a common goal again but can they ever be friends? Inclined towards darkfic, Shep Whump. Some O'Neill and Mitchell.
1. Chapter 1

A/N:

Essentially, 'Aundama' is a story about friendship but it is 'M' rated due to violence, torture, nudity and allusions to male rape. You are warned!

Title – from my own story, 'To Sleep, Perchance to Dream'.

* * *

Aundama - Part One

"…among those who wish to Ascend, there is a word that means something more than simple friendship. It goes deeper… much deeper… a profundity that is eternal and without bounds, encompassing such ideals as loyalty, trust, respect, selflessness and sacrifice… aundama. It does not merely describe the friendship but also the emotion behind that friendship. And often transcends that love between a man and a woman. To lose that, all that, is to be in a state of osaundama. Often this is a result of a physical barrier. Death. A friend moves away. Or we can put up our own mental barriers. An argument perhaps. Hatred. Envy. Suspicion. Mistrust. Elitism. Or… unworthiness, guilt."

_Atar-Sir, Ingoria_

-oAo-

He shivers.

It is cold here.

And even a Wraith, like a human, feels the cold.

No.

Not the cold. The reason is… no, not the cold.

Death. And… souls. And a Wraith feels that more than a human. Or not? Assumes this is so… But there is still more about humans that he does not know…

Shivers again.

Dead flesh. The taint in the air. Discernible just. Through the chemical odour. And more disgusting to a Wraith that a human. Dead flesh. Decaying nourishment. That cannot be touched. And he turns up his nostrils to shut out the stench.

Shivers again.

Fear?

Ah… might be… possibly… Some anxiety certainly. Capture would not be… ideal. He laughs to himself, quietly, under his breath. Black humour… for how would he explain this? Body snatching to be added to Wraith atrocities? He half chuckles, imagining their puzzlement. Well, if they'd accepted his offer of help, but… they did not… so now… he is here… and now he curses, for they will discover that he has learnt to cloak a Wraith ship, and… well, that he has… 'adopted' other technology… if he is caught… ha!... a mind going round in circles… this accomplishes little.

It is cold here. But he understands practicalities. Cold to preserve. This seems an ill way to treat the dead, however. And contradicts his perception that they were inclined towards ritual, to ceremony, to honour. He shakes his head. He will never, never comprehend humans.

There is the drawer. He recognises the script. Handwritten and neat. He pulls at the handle that gives with a jerk. Growls a low curse. Too much noise. Gentle. Gentle now. And slides the drawer out to full length.

The length and breadth of a human.

For the drawer holds a human. It's form clear under a crisp, blue sheet.

He shivers again. No. Not the cold… this is… and he is uncertain…

He grunts dully and pulls the cover away.

And breath leaves him.

He grips the drawer tight with both hands. Shutting his eyes to drive out the sight before him.

What is this? What is this? He… he was not prepared for this. A Wraith feeling… A sound as a deep sigh grates and traps in his throat. A Wraith feeling… emotion. _Human emotion?_ Feeling… what is this?... _grief_ for a human? This… cannot be so… cannot be… but the Gift was strong here… he always knew that.

No more. It would be expedient to leave now.

Even so, he allows his eyes to linger moments longer over the body. Naked, and blue with the cold and death. Dark and yellow bruises. The surgical cut, a black line below the ribs. The wound at the thigh. The damaged wrist. Marks of how the human had suffered in those last few days. Though the face… even with signs of injuries still apparent, calm and peaceful now… as if in sleep. And… this is… curious. He tilts his head. Eyes narrowing. Studying the face. He has seen the expression of humans in death, when they have been fed on by Wraith. He knows it is horror. He knows it is terror. This is… strange to him. This… quietness.

And he shakes the thought off. For this is still repulsive to him. Such sustenance should be warm… should be vibrant… should be vital. But…

That is not why he is here. He quickly places his feeding hand on the naked chest. And assesses. As if listening. It is not too late. That is good. Nods. Satisfied. He notices a label attached to one toe. Snatches at it in disgust and throws it down.

It rattles and scratches on the concrete floor.

What is that? Another faint noise… A human would not hear it. The human who made it might even have thought he was silent…

The Wraith sniffs. The quiver of nostrils. A familiar scent.

Ronon Dex is not nearly careful enough, is he?

The flicker of a red light in the semi-darkness.

Nothing for it. Beam all three up then.

-oAo-

This wasn't right. This just so wasn't right.

Black silky sheets.

Tied to a bed-rail with… fine silver chains…

Hell! What was he _doing _last night?... because, honestly, he couldn't remember a thing… and couldn't focus to remember either… and the headache out of hell… he'd been drugged?... Focus, John, focus… the last thing he could remember was… Jeez… nothing… except missions out of Atlantis… days, weeks ago… nothing detailed… nothing that could have led to this… Damn!… he was military commander of Atlantis… to get himself into this… situation… and they would have taken pictures for sure… yeah… you could bet on that… a joke, maybe? a prank?... Ronon? Rodney?... they'd never go this far… would they? They'd never think this one up?... then… it _was_ blackmail… Well, John Sheppard, just say goodbye to that military career… he just wasn't going to talk… or… or… he _really_ had asked for this, _paid_ for this?... no… no… he just wouldn't… he must have been pretty damned drunk…

His head and eyes hurt enough. Blinking hard. The room so very dark. A faint sickly yellow glow from an inset in the ceiling did little for lighting. Black walls too. Well, that had to be… kinky. But enough slack in the chains… so he could look under the sheet… though he could hardly dare look… but he was wearing a simple white smock thing… now that wasn't right either… not that he was disappointed or anything… just wasn't expecting that… sort of relieved… though perhaps… they just hadn't got down to business yet… but this chain again… attached to a real heavy duty headboard… thick and chunky… and the bed, kinda weird… clinging to every contour like a water bed… yet leathery… seriously designer stuff… and probably seriously expensive… and the chain so long, he could actually sit up and shuffle to the edge… in fact… a tug… but… it didn't give… it didn't break… still… not pinned down… not entirely helpless… not entirely at the mercy of just anyone… and he shook his head to rid himself of the image… the image of some black-leather-clad… no!... just you stop that, John Sheppard!…

He rubbed the bridge of his nose in an attempt to ease his head, and then his sense of smell kicked in. Damp rotted vegetation. Once, in training, he'd had to conceal himself for six hours in a compost heap… that same memory… every damned time he stepped into a Wraith ship…

"You slept well, Colonel Sheppard?"

He turned sharply.

And there was Todd.

Silhouetted against the open door. Standing like some English butler. With a breakfast tray.

And Sheppard didn't know whether to laugh or cry. He just had to be dreaming… hypnotised?... but if they ever thought Todd could ever be a turn on?... so the drugs they'd given him… hallucinogenic, huh?... well… sort of clever… but why was he imagining _Todd?_... or they'd given him truth drugs… well, they weren't working either… he was a million miles from reality right now… he'd slipped into an alternate universe somehow?… yeah, that had to be it…

"I thought you might be… hungry?"

And Todd entered the room, turning on more lights with a thought and setting down the tray on the bedclothes beside Sheppard. With some uncertainty. Peering with just a hint of apprehension through those silver trellises of his.

Almost… _penitent_? And why shouldn't Todd damn well be sorry?

But why wasn't John feeling angry? The last time he'd seen Todd was threatening the life of Woolsey. And the last _news_ he'd had of Todd was hightailing his butt in his Wraith dart, leaving the Daedalus - and its crew – as a convincing imitation of a nuke aimed at M6H 987. Though he couldn't say why he wasn't angry exactly… he certainly felt drained… and the sight of the food wasn't helping… so perhaps he _had_ been drugged, sedated, whatever… and that had taken the edge off anything like anger…

"Todd?"

"Yes, John Sheppard?" As if nothing at M6H 987 had ever fucking happened. Perhaps this was an Alternate Universe. Perhaps none of that _had_ ever happened. But how could there ever be an Alternate Universe where Todd was serving him breakfast?

And hell! He _was _hungry! Ravenous. Weak. Faint. Energy zapping hunger. He just could cram the whole lot in five seconds flat. But this dream, whatever it was, was getting weirder. The tray… cereal… in those little boxes… milk… _fresh _milk… not the preserved stuff you get on Atlantis… fresh orange juice… yogurt… warm pancakes still steaming… eggs sunny side up… coffee… the smell… the smell… he could believe he'd gone to heaven but this was… a Wraith ship… so they had those Star Trekkie things now?... that materialised food?... and Todd was going to fatten him up?... No. No. That's not how they did things… straight into the cocoon…

"Todd…?" Out with it. "Todd! You left my people to die… two hundred of them!… not… not… for God's Sake!... you want me to take part in some… damn tea party? _I should be_ _killing_ _you!"_

And yeah, he was angry now, loud and breathless with the stuff, flushed red with the fury, punctuating every word with the pointed finger of one hand, pulling at the chains that clinked and jerked at the bedposts, feeling their tug at his wrists, moving sharply towards Todd, nearly upsetting the tray. If he surprised himself by the sudden venom in his voice, he was doubly surprised by its effect on Todd, who _actually_ took a step back. A brief flicker of alarm in the Wraith's face moments before he was able to do impassive again. And it was satisfying to let rip. Even if it did hurt his wrists. Even if he knew it was all ridiculous and hopeless to do so and could never be anything more than an empty threats.

Todd was about to speak. But Sheppard wasn't about to give him that chance.

"And don't you _dare_ try justifying what you did!" Spitting out the words. "That. Can. Ne-ver. Hap-pen! You can never, ever, justify that!"

"You must understand-"

"- No! No! You can't explain this away! And… and you might as well kill me now, because if I ever get free from here, so help me, you are one dead Wraith!"

Todd then made some sort of guttural noise from down low in his throat.

Ok… perhaps that was a mistake.

Ok… perhaps he hadn't meant that quite like that. Perhaps he should really be talking his way out of this, instead of digging himself in deeper… getting himself fed on… simmer down, John…

Perhaps he was lucky today and Todd was still prepared to talk…

"The episode at M6H 987 was, if regrettable, totally necessary. It was the only way to destroy the Attero weapon, in view of the fact that, Ronon Dex, had, in turn destroyed the Daedalus weapon's systems."

"It was _his _fault? You could have let me on board! You threatened Woolsey before then… you were going to kill the crew one by one if that was what it took to get those co-ordinates!"

"Events…" and the Wraith shrugged. "Your people survived, did they not?" He might as well have asked 'what's the problem here?' "It can be of no surprise to you, that I could not trust you, that I had only your word, John Sheppard, that you had not, indeed, been responsible for activating the Attero device."

"Yeah, _my_ word, huh?"

Todd turned away towards the door and fell silent. Was that then some sort of apology? Some sort of agreement that they were never going to be able to trust one another. Or… the discussion was simply over?

"And since you're into explanations… you're gonna have to explain… all this too…" and Sheppard waved a hand over the tray, over the bed, rattling his chain. He was going to say VIP treatment, but hey, he _was _still tied up.

"All this?" And Todd turned back, blinking. He'd clearly been deep in thought. "These are my quarters. I thought you would be more comfortable here. Please. You should eat before it becomes cold. That is usual for humans is it not? To-"

"-To hell with the food, Todd! What am I doing here? And anyhow, where did you get all this stuff from?" His mind couldn't somehow prioritise his questions. He needed to know now why he was here but he was so hungry that the food really was that important and he couldn't take his eyes from the tray. So he _was_ being tortured? Soon it was all going to be whisked away…

"Grimwalds-"

"-No! No!" Changing his mind again. "Why am I here?" Because, damn, he still couldn't remember. "Why are you doing all this? I know you Todd! You never do anything unless-"

He stopped.

"Grimwalds?" His eyes narrowed. His voice hoarse with the question. "Did you say… _Grimwalds_?"

Grimwalds.

A chain of small grocery stores in and around Colorado Springs. Jeez! It was all over then. They'd finally gotten to Earth. Via Atlantis? And Todd had betrayed them at last? Like they always imagined he would. Sheppard swallowed hard.

"Yes. I think that was the text written above the door," recalled Todd, matter-of-factly, inscrutable, as if reading Earth store signs was the most mundane thing in two universes for a Wraith to do.

"Don't… don't tell me that you've been to… _Earth_?"

"Indeed. Yes." Todd calm and patient to explain. And still unreadable. Sheppard's mind, though, racing, racing…

Please not to feed. Not to feed. And Todd had led a whole fleet of Wraith ships… and that's how he'd ended up here? Had he been on Earth? Got captured? Why the hell couldn't he remember? He ran his hand through his hair. No obvious cuts… nothing… not concussed…

"How?... Atlantis?... How did you find the location?" His question nothing more than a horrified whisper.

"It was not difficult-"

"-The Daedalus navigation systems," finished Sheppard, nodding in understanding. "And you didn't… you haven't…?"

"Invaded your home planet? No." A slight smile. He'd been reading John's face. Though that wasn't difficult by a long shot. "Tempted yes. But even with all the ships of my alliance at my disposal, a little impossible, do you not think? And then soon, perhaps, we are to receive Dr. Keller's cure, so it would be pointless… For the time being, I intend to keep Earth's location safe. Known only by me."

"Well, that's… that's good to hear…" said John doubtfully, "but you know…" and he shrugged, "that's just too much info for one Wraith… I _will_ have to kill you…" and both Todd and John looked down at the chains. Or die trying, thought John, weakly.

"Hmm… The chains are for your protection. I would not want you wandering all over the ship. There are Wraith on board who do not possess… will power."

"And you do? Well, thanks."

"Not at all," offered Todd, bowing slightly, missing the sarcasm. "Please… eat," he encouraged, holding out two open palms. John hesitated. A little put off maybe by the sight of Todd's right palm and its open maw. And all this charity and kindness on the part of Todd… was downright… not… right. Though he was craving for the juice. He was so thirsty and empty. Like he hadn't eaten in days. But he still needed answers too and there were too many crowding, hammering into his brain at this moment.

"So… I'm not… your prisoner?" he asked, still eyeing up the untouched tray.

"Not… entirely."

"So how did I get here? I just walked on, huh? How come I don't remember?"

"There was an… incident. And I recovered you from it."

"Do I have to thank you for that too?"

"Without a doubt." And the Wraith bowed in acknowledgement again.

"And I was on Earth? Don't tell me you just went there to shop for breakfast?... Damn! You fed too, didn't you?"

"The human in question, and there was only the one, left a most disagreeable… flavour," and the Wraith breathed with a heavy wheeze at the memory and his eyes flicked black. Todd had obviously had been pissed off then.

"Sorry to hear that." Though Sheppard wasn't.

"What you humans would say… possessed low morals." So that made it ok? Oh hell! This was Wallace all over again. And Sheppard would rather not remember that.

"You could tell?"

"He was attacking a female of your species. I am sorry this offends you, but I was in need of sustenance for what lies ahead, as much as you." And he indicated to the tray with his head and hands again in invitation, still urging John to eat.

"And what lies ahead exactly?" And John also looked at the tray, mournfully, with its food now gone cold.

"I intend to find Dr. McKay."

-oAo-

"Yes, but _Wraith? Here?"_ asked O'Neill, a second time, still staring down at the empty drawer. The first time followed by a ten second pause to recover from the shock and disbelief at the possibility that Wraith had actually been to Earth. And he involuntarily shivered. With the cold, of course.

"There's no other explanation, sir," replied the young lieutenant, who'd been the first on the scene.

"That's a little… ghoulish?" He asked with a grimace. Not that Wraith weren't anyway. "Didn't think they were into _dead_ bodies?"

"Ronon Dex disappeared too," the soldier added.

"It appears the energy signature detected matched that of Wraith beaming technology," pointed out Cameron.

O'Neill looked up at the ceiling. "Got through a _mile_ of granite, steel and concrete?" Cheyenne Mountain was supposed to withstand a virtual direct nuclear hit after all.

"The tech guys say they must have been able to augment power to the beam somehow, and the morgue_ is_ on the highest level-" began the lieutenant.

"-Yeah, yeah, ok," O'Neill not wishing to know any more detail than that.

"Think it's the Todd guy?" asked Cameron. "Somehow located us when he was… 'helping' out?"

"Yeah, looks like it," he replied grimly. "But how did he get past all the damn satellite sensors?"

"They've learnt how to cloak?"

"Yeah, looks like that as well."

"Get the base on red alert?" asked Cameron.

O'Neill sighed. "Yeah. I guess. And everyone who needs to know… well… they now need to know." But he put such little sense of urgency into his voice, that Cameron raised a questioning eyebrow. "Though…" and O'Neill shrugged, "I dunno… shouldn't we already be swarming with the guys?"

"Todd working alone?"

"It feels that way."

"From Earth? This must somehow tie up with the forensics report… that Sheppard had been held on Earth… the fingernail samples-"

"-Yeah, _ok!_" said O'Neill, raising his voice slightly, because he didn't want to go into _that_ either. "Better get forensics down here too… to confirm it. But what the hell would Todd want with…" and he didn't want to say Colonel Sheppard, deceased, either.

And this had all happened on his watch.

He should be fishing right now.

Time off from Washington after a lightning visit to SGC en route. But suddenly, illness and family bereavements had led to a general shortage of… well… generals… so an afternoon's inspection had turned into something like an extended tour of duty. And this had all started with Colonel Sheppard turning up in another Galaxy, on Earth, where he was not supposed to be. And with no apparent means of getting there. And now it the Wraith's turn, whether that turned out to be Todd or not, was yet to be proven… he sincerely hoped they were only dealing with a solitary Wraith here with an agenda of his own. The whole Wraith race ( is that what they were called?) would be a whole different ball game to attempt to neutralise. But one day, one day, that was going to be inevitable… right now, globally, every satellite, comms. and recon. system needed to be up and running… every contingency plan had to be in a state of readiness… just in case this turned out to be something bigger that a missing scientist, a dead Colonel and one Wraith commander. There probably was a plausible explanation for all of this other than the imminent invasion of Earth. Hell, they'd better be…

Cameron tapped his radio in response to a call. "Mitchell, here… Yeah… I'll tell him… Got a request, sir, to attend a scene of crime. Don't know if you want to come? Incident at a local Grimwalds. A young lady assaulted. And reported being rescued by… an alien… who beamed down out of nowhere… described as tall, dressed in black, long silver hair, fangs, pale face with a tattoo. And there's a body… who looks a hundred and one."

"Well, I wouldn't _normally_… I mean do people believe in all that UFO stuff?" They gave each other significant looks. And Cameron smirked. "But this sounds kinda interesting…"

"Yeah. Think I might agree there, sir. Since it appears, the alien, in question, also went shopping…"

-oAo-

"McKay is missing?" Well… hey… so was_ he_ now, he imagined.

"Yes. You do not remember?" The Wraith did not expect it. A memory. When John Sheppard was… 'recovered.' When prompted. _'Where is Dr. McKay?' 'McKay?_..._ Rodney?'_ The voice slurred. The mind unclear. _'Yes.'_ And the Wraith had hesitated to use the scientist's first name. _'Yes. Rodney.' 'I dunno… I dunno…'_ And John Sheppard had fallen asleep, too exhausted.

"You still cannot remember?"

"No. No. I can't." And Sheppard looked down at the food again. Puzzled. Trying his hardest to recall.

"Please eat," urged the Wraith once more. And John obliged by reaching for the juice. As if downing it in one would help…

"What happened? And… why do_ you_ need to find him?"

"He has discovered something of interest to me, and to those who hold him, I imagine it is of equal importance."

Todd stooped down and pushed the tray closer, inviting John to choose another item. His eyes… his eyes actually full of genuine concern. Or making a pretty good attempt at faking it.

John shook his head.

"You must eat. I have told you." But John continued to ignore him. Why was the guy plying him with food at a time like this?

"Someone holds him? You know that? You saw who took him?"

"Yes. But I was too late to prevent it."

"You were _there_?"

"I was… watching."

"_Spying_ you mean. Look, how about telling me the whole story," without being so damn cryptic and Sheppard having to wheedle it out of him little by little. "You must know who they are then? And Atlantis must be looking for him too? And you still haven't explained how I got here exactly?"

"You did indeed give pursuit. But at some point, you must have been captured yourself."

"I must have?"

"You eventually re-appeared some days later on Earth. Injured. And… alone."

"On Earth? Alone?" And Sheppard was suddenly fearful for Teyla and Ronon.

"The Athosian Teyla Emmagan was not on this particular mission. Attending to her child who had fallen sick. Neither was the Satedan Ronon who had injuries from a previous mission. Besides Dr. McKay and yourself, there was a group of some eight or nine earth soldiers led by your Major Lorne. Dr. McKay wandered away from the main group, despite instructions not to do so. By the time, the abductors took Dr. McKay, you, as I, were too far away to prevent it. Major Lorne especially so. You and four others, being the closest, followed through the Gate. The four Earth soldiers have not been seen since. And neither has Dr. McKay."

"And I couldn't tell anyone what had happened… to the others? Or whether I found Rodney? Or how I turned up back on… Earth?"

"No. You could give no such indication. You were too… unwell. Though it was apparent from the little you did say that you had, in fact, discovered Dr. McKay's whereabouts."

"You know all this? You must have been in contact with…"

"Earth. Atlantis."

"Right," nodding slowly, because that was still a concept he was finding it tough to come to terms with.

"As I have already related to you, the information that Dr McKay stumbled across on that planet is of great importance to me. It is essential that I was…"

"…in on things…"

"I offered assistance but in their ignorance, it was refused."

"Only _refused? _Didn't try and blast you out of the sky? And so you've kidnapped me in the hope I'll tell you this stuff before I got well enough to tell Atlantis or Stargate Command?"

"That is… partly the reason why." Those black-yellow eyes not nearly veiled enough. Hiding something. Hiding something.

"Well, you must be feeling gutted that I don't remember a thing." Though John himself wasn't exactly happy about it either. "So what happens now? You going to let me go?"

"No."

"No?"

"No. It is my intention to help you remember." And why did that sound ever so slightly like those old movies - ve have vays of making you talk? Todd was going to torture him after all? Didn't feel like Todd's style somehow. _Hopefully_ that wasn't Todd's style somehow.

"And how is that going to work?" He just knew he wasn't going to like the answer.

"It will be necessary for me to access your mind." And that made his gut tie in a knot. And why did Todd have to be so damn pragmatic about all this. As if, the tray of food, Sheppard turning up on Earth, and a Wraith probe were so _normal._

"You… can do that? Just like a Queen, huh?" John pulled a face. That had to be top of a list of reasons to hate Wraith Queens. Because… well, that hurt… A lot.

"Yes. I have that ability."

"Looks like I don't have any choice, do I?" Always like Todd. Always like Todd. Driving a hard bargain.

But this was for Rodney, after all.

Todd bowed again. "I can do this with or without your acquiescence. I prefer the former." Yeah, you bet.

"And if you do not resist, the… pain is greatly reduced." Well, thanks.

"So this is just like regressive hypnotherapy, right?" Or even… Spock. With his mind meld.

"I am not familiar with the term." There was a silence. "There is a pressing need to commence this immediately?" Todd closer. Breathing heavy and noisy. Expectantly, searching Sheppard's face. Hoping for agreement. Willing to answer questions to get it. But… growing impatient.

"Right. They have a head start."

"You were missing for five days. Two more days following that… indisposed."

"So…" and an awful realisation was dawning on him… the maths just wasn't adding up, "so that means you got to Earth… in… what, _two days_ _flat?"_

"Weapons aren't the only things that the Ancients were careless enough to leave in secret labs."

He was saying no more than that.

"A super vamped up hyperdrive, huh?" Rodney had been working on that sort of possibility off and on for the past two years. Or Todd had even discovered a super stargate. Either way, this ability to travel a whole lot faster, along with the knowledge of Earth's location, was all dangerous stuff to be in the hands of Wraith. Was there anything this Wraith _didn't_ know now? Sheppard really _was_ going to have to kill him.

"Not willing to do a deal on that then?"

"You really have nothing to bargain with," answered Todd dryly.

"Guess not… How about I don't kill you later?"

"Hmm…" and with that note of disapproval, Todd moved the tray to one side.

"I guess that doesn't work for you either."

Todd leaned against the bed, kneeling with one knee beside Sheppard… practically touching. And Sheppard flinched at the close proximity. Todd's face… Todd's face, well, he really looked like he wanted… _to feed_… but any Wraith up close looks pretty much like that… partly because, well, they usually _did_ want to feed… would Todd do that?... would he do that now?... he wouldn't set all this up just to feed now?... perhaps to feed later… find out about Rodney and then feed later?... what would be stopping him?... well, John Sheppard wouldn't, that was for sure… helpless and tied up… would Todd do that after everything they've been through together?... going soft and sentimental, huh, Sheppard?... Todd owed him nothing… And Sheppard had threatened him enough since their time in the Genii cell together… had threatened him even in the last hour… not a good move…

"And," Sheppard coughed, "you have no idea who these guys are?" This was stalling and he knew it. Rodney would be proud of him. Damn! What was he being asked to do here? It wasn't so much the hand on the temple, though that was bad enough, but the whole trust thing. _He was going to have to trust a Wraith_. This Wraith. Todd. _Again_… When he'd handed over the co-ordinates for M6H 987, they'd even been trust then, trust that Todd wouldn't turn round and kill the Daedalus crew after all. This should-trust-you-but-can't-won't-don't-trust-you-relationship they had was fast becoming a real pain…

"That is something else that I wish to discover. Are you ready now?" Todd clearly impatient. Better not push this. Yet still Sheppard hesitated. Even… even unconsciously, cautiously moving ever so slightly further back onto the bed.

"And what happens… _after_-"

"-Colonel! No more questions!" Todd's patience snapped and his voice boomed out into the room causing Sheppard to start. "Or I shall be compelled to call for assistance!" And then, apparently, he regretted the outburst. Instantly conciliatory.

"I understand your misgivings."

This is how he works… soft buttery words... no, sly, snakey… snakey a word?... snakey words. _And _snakey eyes. Leering at you in that creepy Wraith way of his… A snake coiled on a branch ready to drop down from the tree… looks at you that way… that way… so it always feels like… you've no alternative… you have to trust him… but a bait's been laid and he's about to haul you in…

"And I will be frank with you… this will not be a pleasant experience and may be a somewhat prolonged process… extremely exhausting… this is why I wished you to take nourishment first… but… I believed you too would want to find your friend?" Concern, huh? False freaking _snake_ in the grass concern.

"Yeah… I do." But… Todd's still evaded the question… what freaking happens later?

And the Wraith shifted forward and held up his hand in readiness.

"Then… we begin?"

-oAo-


	2. Chapter 2

_Apologies to those who posted reviews and story alerts Saturday (and thanks by the way!) but I thought I had problems with publishing so deleted Part One and re-posted on Sunday - losing reviews, alerts and other data relating to Saturday's posting. It all seems a bit drastic now (and I won't be doing that again in a hurry!) but fanfiction weren't responding with calls for help._

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Aundama - Part Two

"Well, assuming this is Todd, he's just proved he's not like Michael and still feeds on humans." Cameron and O'Neill had just witnessed the husk of the victim stretchered off in a body bag. "So why take… groceries? For Ronon?"

"Mighty considerate of him, ain't it?...Tell me, how well did you know Colonel Sheppard?" And O'Neill drew a finger along an almost empty shelf of the store, much to the annoyance of the forensics tech carrying out fingerprint dusting.

"What?!" O'Neill, indignantly responding to the man's dark look of objection, "its not like you're going to find anything! Wraith don't have fingerprints on record?... _Do they_?" Do they even have fingerprints?

"Colonel Sheppard?" enquired Cameron, answering O' Neill's first question, "Met him a couple of times… seemed a decent guy. Shame to have lost him. Why do you ask?"

"Hmm… nothing really… though there's one or two things about Sheppard, I seem to recall… liked movie nights with the guys… and was a little partial to… popcorn. Loved the stuff, he told me once."

And the two looked at the space left by boxes of popcorn.

"Coincidence, or what?"

-oAo-

There is blackness here.

_You… fight me?_

The thought… difficult… effort in the darkness.

No.

_I thought you also wished to find Dr. McKay?_

I do.

_You are weak… this is why I asked you to eat… shall we stop?_

No… ok… I'm ok… the thought strained. As is the face. Perspiration across the brow. The eyes are closed tight. Body tense, rigid. The neck arched. Not entirely free of pain then…

Then why?… of course… ah… naturally it would be so… it would be like this… he has not taken Sheppard far enough back…

_We will stop._

No!

_Sheppard-_

-I said no!

And there is nothing the Wraith can do. Sheppard now is willing this? Sheppard will not permit the link to break? He has this… ability?

Voices. A male voice. 'Hell, what did they do to him?'

_Who is that?_

Colonel O'Neill.

_I am not familiar…_

Used to be at SGC. Sometimes… visits.

An infirmary bed. Not Atlantis.

Weak... So weak...

A voice he does not know. 'No, Colonel. This is Cheyenne Mountain. We'll get you to surgery shortly.'

A whisper… at his lips… that calls for Rodney…

'Dr. McKay is not here.'

'…know… know that…'

Words that ask questions in the blackness.

'McKay? You have seen McKay?'

'He… got… them… to let… me go…'

'We know this is difficult… any idea where McKay is?' O'Neill.

'Can't… no… numbers… don't wash… Rodney… Rod…ney…'

'….delirious… making no sense…'

Silence.

'Hang in there, soldier.'

Silence.

Then.

The voice of Teyla Emmagan. Faint.

Why only voices? Why is it so… dark? Why can't I see?

_You are weak. And you were… weak then._

Unreceptive except to sound.

Is she… is she crying?

I believe this is so.

'Sorry. Very sorry… didn't make it...'

No.

Sheppard struggling… struggling with… struggling beneath his hand…

Please. Please don't cry.

My voice? No… Ronon.

Also needs to say… needs to say… please don't cry. But can't. Can't…

No… no…

_We can stop this, Sheppard. This will not find Dr. McKay._

No.

A sound… faint also… but very, very close… like… close, near his face… like… like cloth being moved… no… like crisp cotton… a sheet… no... Teyla... one short, sharp cry… no... Cover me. Cover me. No. Don't let them see… this isn't me… no… the sound of… is that a sound?... the sound of movement… a face close by… the sound of a breath… breath… longs for breath… an Athosian kiss… no… a whisper at his ear… no…

Good-bye, John…

No… don't go… no… don't leave me… don't leave me… no… no…

O' Neill's voice… a military service… ashes over Atlantis… Sheppard's wish… no… no…

…no air… no air… no breathe… he does not breath… no air… needs to breathe… suffocating… needs to breathe… again.

"No! Todd! No! No!" And Sheppard jerks forward from his place on the bed. Violently pushing Todd's hand away from his temple. Ripping from the contact. "What the hell? What the hell happened?" His heart racing. His breathing fast. Shivering though he's not cold. Sweat running in rivulets down his face. Down his back. Hell, everywhere. Soaking the smock.

Todd's own heart racing. His own breathing fast. They had been as one, after all.

"I warned you, John Sheppard. This would not be easy."

"Tell me that didn't happen!... How?... How could that have happened?... I'm _here!"_ Gasping out the words.

"I revived you." Revived? Hell, here was a master of understatement!

"Revived? I _died!_"

"Yes. And I revived you."

"How? The Gift?"

"Yes." John swallows hard.

"You… you took me from… the _mortuary_?"

"Yes."

"You went to Earth… just to do that?"

"Yes."

"This thing Rodney discovered, it is so important to you?"

"It is."

"And you're not going to let me in on it? Though I'm probably going to find out anyway."

"If we proceed. Yes. Probably."

"If?"

"You grow weaker-"

"-I'm fine."

"I have sent for water. And fresh food if you require it?"

"And I told you I'm fine!"

"It is as you wish… May I?" And he hesitates. He needs to feel for the pulse of John Sheppard. He is concerned for his heart. It has not long been beating again. This degree of trauma… He believes he will not be able to revive him a second time… All would be lost… Yet knows… his touch would not be welcome…

And John looks down at the offered hand. Uncertain. Still lost in thought. Uncomprehending. Wondering why Todd doesn't reach for his temple again. And this has changed everything, hasn't it?! Todd saved him! This isn't… no, no, this is still snakey Todd… Todd only did this because he needs to find McKay… leopards don't change their spots… same old snakey Todd… mixing metaphors, Sheppard!... but has to be the same old snakey Todd… has to be…

"Your wrist?... I must ascertain that you are indeed strong enough?"

John nods. Understanding. Though he could do this for himself. He allows this… contact. However awkward. Flinching. Resisting the urge to recoil. This Wraith… Todd… must have touched him… _before_…

Attempts to sound casual, conversational.

"This isn't going to get any better, is it? I mean… I died…" Everything that led up to that. Everything that led up to that moment. Everything that he could not remember.

"On this occasion, I must take you further back. I must go deeper… As I have said before, this is going to be unpleasant for you and… I cannot quite so readily let you go next time."

"I'll consider myself duly warned." And Todd allows Sheppard's hand to drop. Satisfied. The wrist has been trembling, shaking, however much the Colonel has tried to conceal the fact. No doubt shocked that he has been brought back from the dead. But Todd pays the complement all the same. It is still deserved.

"You always were stronger than any human I have ever known."

"Yeah." And Todd kneels beside John on the bed again. This closeness… this closeness… Todd's breath, low and gravely, so close. John grimacing. Ready. Bracing for the finger against his temple. It'd hurt at first. Drilling loud and piercing into his skull. Reverberating through, down the spine. Through, down every limb. Skewered there. Skewered there by that one hand. He has already learnt… that if he does not fight it… the pain eases… if he relaxes… yeah, relaxes… try freaking relaxing, knowing there's a Wraith at your head and everything you're about to see is everything that leads to your freaking death…

"So… we're after co-ordinates… right?"

"Any indication."

"And we're both looking?"

"You are understanding the procedure well."

And this is for Rodney. "You'll not harm Rodney? And the rescue? I'm in on the rescue? And this… thing that you're after? I'll be after it too…"

"Spare Dr. McKay?" Considers it. "Yes. I need him alive. The rest of the… bargain? No. And you are in no position to make demands, John Sheppard. Is it not enough that I have saved your life?"

And Sheppard bites his lip.

Damn you, Rodney, you'd better be worth it, is the last independent thought that he has.

-oAo-

_What is this?_

Noise.

So much noise. Shouting. Wormhole travel. That stretches thought. Compresses thought. Spirals thought. Another gate. But a handheld device. Thank God for Radek, eh?

_A device that detects the last address? _

If you're quick… you have to be so goddamned quick though… electronic fingerprint or something… another gate… another wormhole… another gate… and the shouting…

'Move it! Move it! Down! Get down!'

Gunfire that jars against nerves… can actually _see _Rodney for heaven's sake!... but they have to keep down... pinned down… there's only five of us… what… must be twenty of them…

'Over the top, sir? For _one_ guy?'

Crap, the gate!… it's gonna close… running… like never ran before… the ground… the rush… lungs splitting… and hot… they're gonna make it!... wormhole… no… no… it's too quick for DHD address… try… no… no… too fast… on the other side… what the hell?... should have expected… ambush?... no… no… crossfire…

'Sir! Sir!'

Adams… down… blood... a wound at the thigh…

'Now! Go! Go! Go!'

Adams heavy to carry… moaning… cover behind bushes… crossfire… hell, if they don't look out they're gonna hit Rodney!... who are these other guys?... hey, any help… but they're gonna hit Rodney…

The body count is high… but the guys with Rodney long gone… and that feeling… that feeling that Rodney is lost… that they've lost Rodney… that _he's_ lost Rodney… Adams fine for now… field dressing and painkillers… you look after your men… respect… they watch your back…

_Brother warriors?_

Yeah…

'Who are you?'

Tell a lie…

_Atlantis__ a secret still?_

Yeah, still…

'And who are you?'

'Rafisia.'

Never heard of it… but they're angry… lots… the bad guys using their planet as a base…

'These guys? Any ideas where they're from?'

'No… never seen them before… have tech… have guns… like you… sure you're not the same people?'

'No.'

Using locals as slaves… rebels really... hard times… see it on their faces… hell! that pisses him off!... as if living with Wraith isn't bad enough…

_This is so?_

Yeah, this is so...

They're obliging… though they owe us nothing…

'Likely locations?... a hideout? a base?'

Some idea… provide a guide… decent enough… its ok… can trust him… should head back to Atlantis?... let them know?... shouldn't blindly go through Gates… knows that… Jumper would be handy… but light fading… do that later… when it's dark… first location close by… close to the Gate? That's good… yeah… but… Murphy's Law… yeah… but… the guide's not straight after all… hell! didn't they trust us?... too easy… and then its an ambush after all… crap!… didn't even get a shot off… and they're surrounded… hands raised… easy… easy… easy does it… he'd led his men into this?... and where's Adams?... they'd left him on watch… where's Adam's for Christ sake?... and this is concern… not just hope of escape gone… if these guys find Adams… these guys aren't going to sit you at a table and quietly talk things over… these guys can't be soft talked… these guys are like Kolya's genii, who feed you to Wraith… see it… see it in their eyes… SERE training… as a pilot… as special ops, mandatory… you don't get caught… if you get caught, they'll either interrogate… or kill you… or both… the course… how to resist interrogation… how to resist interrogation?... rule one… you don't get caught… that simple… you don't get caught… as a pilot, worse… you're alone… chances are you're injured as maybe you've just ditched out… and they know exactly where you've come down… so don't get caught… proper planning… don't get caught… and as a pilot… you're alone… think for yourself… this is more difficult… complicated… got to think of the men… got to put them first… if he could… if he could… he'd stand in front of everyone of them… but he can't… helpless… but where the hell is Adams?...

Looking down the barrels of those guns… stomach clenching… that dread… this is it… just get ready to die, John… to die now… one of those… damn… P90s… their own damn guns?… just like Michael… not hybrids though… a uniform… not genii… more like their own BDUs… and there's the shout he didn't want to hear… Adams… dragged from his hiding place… no mercy... oh hell… oh hell…

Silence.

_A struggle at his fingertips. Losing contact. Ten__sion at his fingertips. The spine of the human arches. A vain attempt to jerk his head from the vice that is holding his mind. Stuttering hands reach up to clutch at the Wraith's wrist…_

_Todd… a pleading through clenched teeth… Todd!_..._ A mind will always run away from horror. Even, no doubt, Sheppard's. _

_Sheppard…__ you must go back_…_ it is important that we do not break contact… we would have to start again… _

Silence.

_Sheppard?_

_I know… _

_He is encountering more pain at the Wraith's fingers than that contained within his thoughts… _

_The Wraith is tempted to sooth… to stroke… to ease the torment that is there… you must go back… the hands relax a little, falling to the human's sides… trembling still… _

_I know… says a quiet voice… but… kinda… a rock and a hard place… _

Blood… so much blood…

_Y__ou must be accustomed?_

Why?... never… never… I'm ok… get on with it…

_You are certain?_

I said get on with it!… but so much blood… no… no… stronger than this… mustn't let them see… mustn't let them see… never weak… Adams... one bullet… through the head… so… so… so… they were going to get moved… Adams was loose baggage…

_A__nd Wraith are considered animals?_..._ and what is this?_... _blackness again_…_ but this is different…_

Hoods… they were ready for us then… but hoods?… an Earth thing… last time, hoods… with Aiden… Earth military… and hands tied… with military Earth ties… pushed forward… a forced march… feet that stumble in darkness… rough voices in darkness… hands that grip and push… fists that punch to push forward… guns that bruise…you can never tell… where it's gonna come from… breath that's short…

_Fear?_

Yeah… fear… John Sheppard feels fear… how about that?… 'move! move!'... left… or right… can't tell… can't tell… these guys not backward meting out the pain… a blow from a gun… cries out… involuntary… fists that push forward… punches that push forward… kicks that push forward… a blow from a gun… you can never tell… out of the darkness… and wormhole travel again…

_B__ut… it is long._

Sure?... means something?...

_Possibly nothing._

It doesn't stop… the blows… shouting… his men… their captors… shouting and cursing… does nothing except earn more blows… a sharp pain in his side… gasps… wants to drop… knows the feel… the familiar feel of cracked ribs… but hands push forward… push forward… stumbles again… hands that hold back… a skull that splits into stars… hell… hell… and again his jaw… for not moving fast enough… and he's spitting blood… inside the hood… dazed… and feels he is falling again… spinning… where's forwards anyway?... yeah… as if… as if he'd do that on purpose… the noise of the shouts… yells… an echo… there's an echo… boots an echo on flagstones… buildings… a courtyard… through a door… knows that… coz slams into the side… half twists, half pushes through… hits solid… hits wall… where the hell is forwards anyway?... and the gun jammed in his side again… breath… catch breath… can't stop… move you bastard!... bastard?... who says… who says bastard?... hits wall again… crashes down… kicked… and kicked… and kicked… no… no… get up!... get up!... yeah… you wanna try it all busted up… you wanna try it with hands tied sometime!... get up!... am… but sound dribbles blood at his lips… am doing… don't… kick… am… and pushes up against the wall with his shoulder… pain… effort… the gun in his ribs… give… a… guy… a…fucking chance… will you?… pushed forward… pushed forward… then… kneel!... kneel!... hands on shoulders pushes him down hard on knees… the impact… shoots up… grunts hard… at least… at least they've stopped moving now… now, the questions… you bet… now the fucking questions… training… just tell them your name, rank, serial number… yeah… like that means something in Pegasus… training… expect the worse… expect no mercy… expect they're gonna hurt you… expect you're gonna die… tac vests pulled off… jackets pulled off… hanging at their wrists… rip their shirts… exposed shoulder… ready… ready… gritting teeth… knows they're after the transmitters… ripping… hot… cutting flesh… not going to cry out… not going… then… then…

'You, the officer?'

…and they push him… so he guesses they mean him… nods… coz… words fail… mouth too torn… mistake… wouldn't have seen the nod with the hood… just like he doesn't see the rifle butt… hears it… short swish… and his face… skull… explodes…

_What is this? B__lackness again._

…how long?... how long?...

_Not long._

… and the hood whisked off… and they pull him up to kneeling by his hair… and he yells out…

'Ask you again, are you the officer?'

…swallows hard… blood at his mouth, in his mouth... the room's going loopy… wants to say yes… can't… can't… must say yes… mustn't let them get at the others… he has to take it all… because… he _is _the officer… officer?... who says officer anyhow?... always leader… old films… always take me to your leader… tries at yeah… low gasp… but they're satisfied… wants to say… wants to say don't hurt the others… knows they're gonna hurt them anyway… can't see much… right eye swelling… sees… a corridor… barred cells either side… sees… senses enough… these guys mean business… training… you don't say anything… name, rank, serial number… the reason?... don't give them a tool… that's the reason… if they know you care, they'll hurt them… not him… he has to take it all… you don't say anything… not even to the others… it makes them vulnerable… you have to do… cold… indifferent… flat… uncaring… and then… if these guys have Rodney?... then Rodney's long dead… all this for nothing… luck finally ran out, John, huh?... plans always work out, huh?... not this time, buddy!... forced to stand… all of them… hands untied… watching… watching… too many to overpower… then…

'Strip!'

…oh fuck!... stomach churns… not this…

'Now!'

…reluctantly bends to unlace boots… unsteady… the place reels… nausea… mustn't pass out again… got to watch out for the others… steady… steady… and mustn't give them an excuse to hit him again… got to watch for the others… the others… still hooded… fumble… steady… steady… mustn't fall… socks… the cold of the floor hurts… jackets… fall to the floor in front…

'Faster!'

…the others… still hooded struggle with shirts… shivers… but stands straight… indifferent… flat… don't let them see… don't let them see… don't look at the others… don't let them see… pity… sets lips hard… though that hurts like hell… eyes front… prodded with a rifle…

'Get a move on!'

…unzips pants… training is supposed to prepare you… they go through all this… humiliation… sniggers… jibes at manhood… but the back of your mind you know it's not real… this is real… humiliation… sniggers… jibes at manhood…

'Hands on heads!'

…touching… a rifle brushes past… trying not to flinch… play it flat… indifferent… and they call Paulo pretty… and he's taken away… aware of the movement… the space… won't look… indifferent… even when Paulo is yelling… even when Paulo screams once… even when Paulo is returned… even when Paulo is whimpering and sniffling and moaning all in one… you don't have to look… but you can't stop the voices… the feelings… the knots in your gut… in training… none of you should be homos… so if you don't wish to lose your virginity, you don't get caught… and there's laughter then… but by the time they're done with you… and the laughter is stopped… they'll be no guys in UN blue berets enforcing rules… the Arabs might not… but they've been trained by others that will… others that do… Pegasus guys? Do they?... and there's no Geneva Convention here is there, John?... and they say… give up hope… you won't be rescued... expect no mercy… expect the worse…

...he has no hood… doesn't want to look at the others… turns his face… second mistake…

'No, you watch!'

…and they grab his hair again… push him up against the bars… holding him there… twisting his head... forcing his damaged face against the bars…

'One thing you're gonna learn… you watch… always… you gonna watch… got that?'

…and they rip off his dogtags… winces as flesh cuts…

'Got that Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard?... say yes!'

…won't… name and rank only… head struck hard against the bars…

'Say yes!' they shout.

… training… you don't say anything… name and rank… concentrate on that… say only that… focus on that…

… he says 'Lieutenant!' ...before the next blow…

'Say yes!' they shout.

…fuck you!...

…he says, 'Colonel!'… before the rifle slams his ribs again…

…anger… use anger… only weapon you have…

'Say yes!' they shout.

… jolt... skull jarring… flesh ripping… a second, sees nothing…

…he says, 'John.'

…fainter…

'Say yes!' they shout.

…head… head… gasps the last name… gasps, Sheppard… sinks down… bars scraping bare flesh… down to the cold cold against flesh cold stone floor… shivering… trembling… breathless… panting… blackness there… almost… choking… mouth and throat and nose full of bile and blood … knowing these guys… these guys are only just starting… with their fun…

..._no_..._ stop!_..._ no_…

_...a struggle… a murmur of begging… a plea… from deep… deeper than memory… a broken layer… as before, the Wraith has broken through a layer… that is private… that is never seen… he feels as an intruder… a plea that was not even necessarily directed at him… feels… no… but why this compassion?_..._ this is means to an end… he has saved Sheppard for this purpose only… no other reason… no, no other reason, and this layer is quickly concealed… but it was there… a vulnerability that the human overcomes… and there is the layer that is courage again…_

…_Sheppard, think what you are asking?_..._ you truly do not wish to break this?_...

…_no… no…_

…_you are recovered?_... _I have explained… to break contact… you weaken… it may be impossible to continue…_

_It's ok… I am fine now… fine… _

…continue… an hour… two… three… standing there… hands on heads… nothing said… hard breathing… his face hurts… his side hurts… and its cold… where… where would be this cold?...

'Sir?'

…Paulo… from under his hood… no!... you say nothing!... it screams inside him… unsaid… you say nothing!... nothingness protects you… wants to feel nothing… to feel nothing for these guys… nothing… no pity… they are pushing the men into the cell… not him… stays in the corridor… forced to face the bars again… they're gonna make him watch… notices the hooks on the ceiling now… they're gonna make him watch… chains looped on hooks… linked to the hand ties… hauled up backwards… no… no… don't… the men's grunts… the men's moans… the strain on shoulders… chest… muscles bunch… can't watch…

'You watch! Sheppard! What did we tell you! You watch!'

…hold his head… make him watch… make him watch as they start beating the crap out of his men… his own arms pulled up and wrists wound, twisted through the bars… tied there… tight… panting… chest so damned tight… a horizontal bar cutting into his groin… face crushed up against the iron… half stooping… half collapsing… push his thighs apart… push his knees through the bars and bend the ankles back… tight and tied to the lower bar…

...crucified…

'You stay there… you stay there and watch…'

…breath comes as grunts… shivering… cramps, spasms… in every limb… training… they'll make you stay in one position for hours… you think you can stand it?... sounds simple… sounds easy… then hour… after hour… after hour… you'll feel like you're gonna explode… you'll feel like fire is in every muscle… you'll literally feel like you're being torn apart… coz, hey that's what's happening here… they might as well take a knife to you… but they're doing that too… to his men… trembling… its cold… but sweat… shiny sweat and trembling on his men… cuts that criss cross… flinching with pain… crying out with the pain… and when they pass out… filthy cold water from a bucket and... he has to watch…

'Want to know how to stop this? Sheppard? Why is Atlantis helping Rafisia?'

…that's all?... all this for that one question… why not… why not, where is Atlantis?... that fucking should have been the question… where is Atlantis?... these guys know already?... these guys damn well know where Atlantis is… it's the routine though… name and rank only… that's all he's telling them… can do defiant… piece of cake…

'Don't you like your men?... Do you enjoy watching your men get hurt?'

…and when he doesn't watch… when he tries to turn away… a rifle slams into his right side… lightning through every nerve… won't cry out with the searing, cutting pain heat that slices up his back and skull… and the agony is ten times worse than it oughta be… body tense… taut like a fucking drum skin… no way of escaping… and always his right side… that kidney isn't going to last… sometimes he passes out… seconds after, doused with the dirty water… gasping…

'Why is Atlantis helping Rafisia?'

…name and rank… breath as grunts… hit again and again…

'Don't tell them, sir!'

…don't tell them… do defiant… name and rank…

'You want to save your men, Sheppard?... then you have to speak up… you understand?... you have to speak up… or else they're gonna be dead… and when we've done with them… we'll start on you… understand?... only… believe us, we'll make it a whole lot worse for you…'

…seems like… seems like they already have… and hit again and again… always his back… always his damaged ribs pummelled into the bars… and vision blacks with the agony… so he can't watch… and it's the dirty water again… and he's left shivering… shivering…

…a rifle at his head… its point traces a line slowly down his spine… can only move his fingers… fingers move… fidget… wants to push the rifle away… gotta stop that… gotta stop that… mustn't let them see… tenses… tenses so tight… can't breath… can hardly breath… as the muzzle touches the crease at the bottom of his spine… their laughter… their laughter at his fear… mistake… let them see his fear… thought he could do this… thought he could do… flat… indifferent…

'Believe us, we'll make it a whole lot worse.'

…the rifle lower… touching… touching the inside of his thighs… prodding…

'You're a soldier… you know the damage we could do…'

...their laughter…

'Hope that's pain that's making you grunt.'

...their laughter...

'Why is Atlantis helping Rafisia?'

…head muddled… thought slow… again… and again… the question… again and again one of the men, beaten… or cut…

'Why is Atlantis helping Rafisia?'

…Atlantis?... how do they know?... no one has said… how do they know?... they've met these guys before?... Rodney's told them… knew of Rodney… knew Rodney was going to be in that place… at that time… how did they know…?

'Why is Atlantis helping Rafisia?'

…crying now… broken men crying… shoulders dislocate… bodies slump… brought down… broken… one by one… push their shoulders back… and that fucking hurts more… they're trying not to cry out…

…leaving them now… leaving them to think… to think things over…

'Sir? Sir?'

...hears the begging and the pleading… the men huddled on the floor…

'For…God's Sake… tell them.'

…voices of his men weak… cut with pain… can't…

He says, 'can't… they'll kill us for sure… buy time… buy time and wait for rescue… it'll come…'

…assurances… it'll come… because he's the officer… he knows… you don't let your men down… you don't let them get caught…

'Sir? Sir?'

…they're making his men torture him…

'Sir? Please!' ...or...

'For fucks sake, Sheppard, but its not that important… we're not even fucking helping Rafisia… its not important enough to die for… not like this…'

…perhaps Adams the lucky one after all… a quick bullet to put an end to all this… its not important enough to die for… whichever way… long… or slow… these guys are just doing it for kicks… put an end to it… no… no…

Norton… who's been quiet… 'tell them and it'll make no difference… they're going to kill us anyway.'

…when you get caught… they'll hurt you… or kill you… or both… they learn that… they learn that in training…

…they return… and Norton is dragged out into the corridor… on his knees… gun to his head…

'Again, Sheppard, why is Atlantis helping Rafisia?'

…Norton says nothing under that hood… accepting his fate…

'Colonel?!' cries Paulo…

'Why not tell them, Sheppard?... Why not tell them we have a gun to this brave young soldier's head and intend to end his life if you do not answer our question?'

… says nothing… and Norton says nothing…

…Norton… commendations longer than your arm… father a general… far to go…

'Again, Sheppard, why is Atlantis helping Rafisia?'

'Colonel!' shouts Hendrick.

…it'd be so easy… so easy to say… to say we weren't helping Rafisia… we're looking for McKay… and it'd be the truth… they would see that… but training… they're going to kill you anyway… every damn one of them… sooner or later… no hood… no hood… can watch theses guys too… sees it in their eyes… they're going to kill us anyway…

'Now, Sheppard… Now, Sheppard… Now, Sheppard or he dies.'

…an echo… now Sheppard… now Sheppard… now Sheppard…

'Colonel!' says Hendrick.

Hendrick says it… Hendrick…

'For fucks sake, Sheppard! I'm not taking any more of this shit for this! We're not fucking helping anyone on Rafisia. We were looking for one of our guys, a Dr. McKay! Ok?!!'

…and they shoot Norton anyway…

…and the officer is the one… without a hood… that sees it all…

-oAo-


	3. Chapter 3

Aundama - Part Three

_Todd! _

_The struggle again at his fingertips… anguish… torment on the human's face… as if… as if the Wraith were feeding…_

_No, Sheppard… __I will not release you_… _this is not real… remember that…_

_Todd… for… pity… sake…_

_He strokes the temple again… to ease the pain as Sheppard resists his hand… and follows with words of encouragement…_

_You have to stay. We__ still do not have the information we require…_

_Todd!_

_Once I stop, it will be too difficult to resume… I have told you this…_

_Let-me-go!_

_No__._

_Let-me-go! Damn you!_

_No. Do not fight. It only serves to weaken you and we shall not finish__. And it is only your current weakness that demands this. Think of Rodney…_

_Or the tech you're after!_

_This is not good… Where is the strength that is Sheppard?_

…hands… his hands want to push Todd away… somehow… somehow… he can't… he can't move… his head… there… against Todd's palm…somehow… somehow… he can't… pull… away…

_Who__… is… doing… this… damn… torturing?!_..._ them?_..._ you?_..._ who is it?_

…thoughts hissed in agony… pinned… trapped… nailed… no release… face screwed tight and teeth clenched…

_Todd!_

Silence.

_Todd!_

_This is what you think?_

_Yeah… yeah… this is what I think…_

Silence.

_I… I would not hurt you, John Sheppard__._

Silence.

_No?_

_No__… We continue? _

Silence.

_Sheppard?_

_Y__eah… yeah, we continue…_

…not recovered… no… his body aches… his eyes wish they could see no more… a sluice… a gulley… runs down the centre of the corridor… water… filthy, a stench… an open sewer?... now runs red with blood… Norton's body is dragged away… no… not recovered… will never recover… Hendrick's shouting, fuck you!… fuck you!… cursing… yelling… till they kick him quiet again…

'Well, at least, he's sensible… he's told us what we wanted to know…'

…flinching… wants to kick as the guy passes by… anger… use your anger… show them you're not beaten yet… wants to kick… doesn't matter he's lost all feeling to his legs… wants to kick… doesn't matter he's tied so tight… helpless… and their laughter… they're alone again… Hendrick moans… or… or… his own moaning?… this position for so long… think you can stand it?... think you can?... and they've hit his right side so… so many times now… if he moves his head… even the slightest movement… hell, the _only_ movement… crucified… shooting pain down his neck… his back… you're a soldier, you know the damage we can do they say… training… they're taught these things… till its second nature… sometimes… sometimes… he wishes… he wishes he didn't know… didn't know how to hurt another being… didn't know the best, quickest, deadliest way to kill a man…

...the guys return… tenses… what now?... what now?.... been to see the boss guy?.... return with a purpose… sees that… the others' hoods removed… duct tape over their mouths before hoods replaced… what… so they can't be heard when they scream?.... oh hell!... oh Jesus!... untied… dragged away from the bars… knees grazing… fuck!... fuck!... fuck!... that hurts… hurts to move… hands tied behind his back again… head jerked back… duct tape and hood… hauled up… pushed forward…can't walk… too stiff… too cold… hurting too damn much… won't make a noise… won't let them hear… two guards… either side… purpose now… corridors… a lift?... clanking heavy double gates…for cargo… technology though?... but more modern than genii…

_I wish that you were not blind__._

_Yeah, tell me about it!_

…a large room… funny how that can be sensed when all other senses down… echoey from the soldiers boots… positioned… standing… a certain way… they're in line?... water trickling at their feet… another sluice… stench… intense because breathing hard through the nose… feeling… feeling… a shadow in front… something solid… a wall… oh hell!... they're being lined up facing a wall with a sluice… oh hell!... shot, then nothing to clean up?… just like Norton… can't stop shaking… cold… its cold… the flesh on his back… creeping… waiting… expecting… holding breath… shaking… spasms of shaking he cannot stop… what's it feel like… what's it feel like to have your brains blown out?…

_R__emember you survived this…_

…yeah… yeah… at the time… at the time… didn't know… didn't know… feeling so sick… feeling so goddamned awful sick… breath hot in the hood… can't throw up because of the tape… has to swallow hard… but why not in the cell?… why bring them here?...

_Todd!_

_No. Wait. Do you not sense it__? Do you not sense that Dr. McKay is here… Here in this very room? I can sense him through you…_

_You can?_

Rodney… shuffling… scuffling of feet behind…

'Look! I don't know what you're playing at… oh… oh… they're…'

...Naked… Rodney… they're naked…

'You choose.'

'What?!'

'You choose which one we shoot next.' Jesus! Rodney!

'Shoot?'

...can feel… can… yeah, sense… Rodney… eyes wide… blinking… Hendrick… tries to speak… Hendrick protests through the tape… smack of punch to solid flesh… Hendrick falls… sound of fall on concrete… Hendrick moans… lesson to them all… all quiet then… but a mind… that begs… that pleads…

'There's… no need…'

'Oh but there is. You are deliberately delaying-'

'-I'm so am not!'

'I think you are! You were given a deadline and as far as I can see, you are miles off the mark.'

'Well, I can imagine it would appear that way to a mere soldier… but a scientist would see the complications-'

'-Which one? Or I choose for you!'

'No! No! I'll see. I'll see if I can speed things up.'

'Don't let me down. Don't let _them_ down.'

Footsteps… not far… clatter on a metal stairway… steps that stop… noise of Hendrick hauled to his feet… soldiers low talking… a keyboard clicking… blind… so sound intensifies… up those stairs… a mezzanine floor?... clicking… fast… Rodney's fast… have to admire him… but… but… he mustn't be… he mustn't help these guys… he mustn't do this thing because of the three downstairs… that's not how its supposed to work, Rodney… you don't give in… you don't give in so easily… how?... how can he tell him?... how?... and Rodney… damn… Rodney can't possibly know who they are… laughs… laughs inside…

_What is so amusing, Sheppard?_

…three naked guys, hooded and bound, and one…

_Y__es?_

…and one… is… his… team mate… friend… and he doesn't… can't even recognise him…

_I see the irony__._

…stand for… how long… how long… faint… head from hell… that makes the hood feel like twenty pounds… how long can you stand with the ache… interminable ache… that gnaws… gnaws in every joint… every muscle… his back… fire… like fire… longs for… longs to lay down… a bed… soft… soft and comfy… laughs… laughs inside again… in the desert… dehydrated… no food… no water… so you hallucinate… for food… water… and haven't eaten for… hours… thirst… no water for hours… hallucinating then… for a bed?... laughs… laughs inside… cold too… warmth of a blanket… a blanket would be good… what place is this that is so cold?... dampness from the sluice… trickling water… needs to urinate… though no water for hours… damn kidney or something… mustn't let them see… but side hurts… cutting… needs to urinate… trying not to… like trying not to talk… the pain like fire… lets go… hell… shame… dribbles down his thigh… hopes they don't see… gonna get beaten or laughed at or both if they see… and the punch comes in the same goddamned fucking kidney!… down… down on the floor… curling over… tears… Christ it hurts! Christ it fucking hurts!... hands clenched in fists… yells in his mouth… stifled… yells exploding in his brain... screams dammed against the tape at his mouth…

'Animal! You're an animal! And you know what animals do? They lie in their own fucking piss!'

…training… training… the same words… pulled forward… held down... damp… cold through the hood… water seeps through the hood… putrid, stinking water… at his nose… eyes... hold breath... hold breath... struggles… desperate... to turn his head… but hands… forcing down… push down… mustn't breath… don't breath… shoulders thrashing… whole body pawing at the ground... concrete cuts... mustn't… mustn't breath… hold breath… hold breath… water… stinking water at his nose… own hands pulling at the ties… desperate… wrists cutting... legs kicking… thrashing… what, six holding him?... his voice?... whining... squealing?... desperate against the tape… held down... can't move… hold breath… wanting to… wanting to breath… push away… bucking back… panic… panic… stinking water in his nose... hood cloth sucking in at his face… held down... lungs splitting across his back… lungs splitting across his chest… nose… choking… gagging back of throat… garroted breath... held down... the filth's in his mouth… but can't swallow… can't swallow… mustn't swallow… will… breathe… more… of… the… stuff… in… held down... heart punching loud in his head… blackness... push back… push… back… held down… held down… shudders… sound of…

…sound of… last… choked throat… own last… faint… last… shudders…

Rodney… from the upper floor…

'Leave him alone! I'm working now! Leave him alone!'

…a closer voice… hands on his shoulders relax… pushes back… heaves in air… any air… heaves in air to fill aching splitting lungs… pushes back out of the stink… choking bile, mucus through his nose… stomach retching… coughing… that traps in his mouth… some sort of air… grateful… for some sort of air at edges of the hood … blows the stink out of his nose… nose… back of throat…

'Don't interfere. You keep to your area. Understand?'

'Well, just thought you'd like to know, I can't concentrate up here with all the racket you guys are making. Want me to finish or not? Oh, and another thing? Would a heater be too much to ask for too?'

…thanks… Rodney… thanks… curls into ball… panting through the stench that won't go… soaked into the hood… nausea… but can't… can't because of the tape… some sort of air… training… it'll be bad… think on that… and don't get caught… if you want enough of a reason, not to get caught… think on that… lucky then, John?... only an open drain... Rodney's voice…

'Who are they, anyway?'

'Mind your own business.'

'Just trying to be conversational.'

'Get back to work.'

'Ok… ok… I know, I know… targets to meet…'

…Rodney works… not good enough… and they shoot Hendrick or Paulo anyway… shot rings out… too exhausted to react… lying there… cold seeping in… nulling, numbing the pain… dumbing care… should have been the officer… why not him?... why not the fucking officer who got them all caught… Paulo sobbing under the gag… so its Hendrick… all dead men anyway… and Rodney's screaming…

'There was no need to do that! I was working! There was no need!'

'No. You are incorrect. We need to impress on you the necessity to keep to the schedule… the schedule McKay.'

…dragged back to the cells… Rodney's there too?... complaining… in the next cell?... curls up again… wincing… setting teeth against the pain… curls up… doesn't want Rodney to see… clattering of tins… Rodney's getting fed then… the thought of water… couldn't eat… but the thought of water… own mouth so dry and sore and the sour taste of vomit, blood and filthy water… lungs gravely… all in his lungs… footsteps receding…

'Oh my God, look at you… those bruises… I can't begin to imagine how much that hurts… Who are you?' Rodney asks all at once.

Paulo tries talking…

'They gagged you? Under hoods? Why?'

Yeah, why?...

'You those rebels from Rafisia?'

Rodney doesn't know… he cannot even guess… he cannot conceive that Lt. Col John Sheppard could possibly get captured… or that he's in the cell next door… Paulo tries talking again… a succession of hmmms… and… in another place… it'd be funny…

'No… I don't understand.'

…perhaps they should try morse code… too numb to try…

'There's some sort of wire mesh at the bars,' Rodney says.

…he sounds as if he's sitting against it… slurping drink… reminder of own thirst…

'I'm sorry they've fed me and not you… if you can call this food… I'd share… but you're all tied up… and I can't move this mesh anyway. I'd untie you if I could.'

…he's rambling… does that when he's worried… his voice… kinda soothing though… hours ago… the thought Rodney might not still be alive… and he is… talking… thing he does second best… after tech… Rodney apologises again… now that's different…

'Sorry about your friend… but… I can't… can't do this thing they're asking of me… you understand that don't you? It's a weapon, you see.'

What if they hear, Rodney?... what if they hear?... but Rodney would have checked first… continues…

'I don't know if you can understand… it's a weapons system that can knock out whole solar systems… I've never seen anything like it before… I can't let them get their hands on this… in fact, no one should…'

_Todd… you after this?... Can't let you have it either… Todd!…_

_Pressure against his hand again._

_Do not resist John Sheppard. It is not for me. I mean to ensure it is destroyed. It is my intention that no one should possess it… and that means Atlantis and Stargate Command too._

_Sheppard is still now. Attentive. Listening._

_You really want me to believe that?_

_Yes_

_Yes? To trust you? I mean, you don't always deal straight with us? I mean, you never deal straight with us. Trust you?_

_Yes… yes, trust._

'This is bigger than you or me,' Rodney continues, ' huh, now why does that sound like that line just walked out of some cheesy old film?... I intend…' lowers his voice… 'to… to…' uncertain if he is heard… 'a virus… always my plan… when I was alone… now you guys are here… well… well, that's not going to change… I'm sorry… I'm so sorry.'

…that he's signing their death warrant?... it's ok, Rodney… ok… it's how it should be…

'Of course, we might get rescued… Sheppard… I sort of work with this guy called Sheppard, well, actually, I'm his boss, he just sees to the military side of things where I come from…'

…Paulo's going crazy, trying to get a whole chain of mmms in…

'I can't understand you… yes… it'd be great if we get rescued… but you know… if we don't…'

…yeah, Rodney, we're dead men…

'You know… I'd just thought I'd explain…'

…nice speech… try that morse code… worth a try… through the haze that's goes for a brain… figures R… then O… then D… then Rodney is snoring…

...blank… fast forward?...

_You are sleeping also._

_I'm not a damned DVR player._

_I do not understand. You were experiencing nightmares at this particular point._

_Oh… Right…_

_We haven't the time neither did I believe you wished to see them._

…and what is all this, huh?... what is all this if it's not a goddamned nightmare?… Rodney's brought breakfast… he repeats things of the night before…

'If I can just get this mesh moved… one little corner here…'

…noise of scraping metal… it's not moving easily…

'I could get those hoods off and we could share… you'd have to come closer…'

…again the question, why the hoods and the gags?...

...not moving… not moving closer… doesn't want Rodney to see… back towards him… keep it that way… too nauseous for food anyway… and not enough time… they come for Rodney… 'get up! get up!' and they follow… dragged… too weak from beating... lack of food... water… standing… only just… swaying… near the sluice again… Rodney tapping away at a keyboard… won't do his virus yet… will to live… to survive… leave it to the end… when he finishes… but they'd expect that… they've abducted Rodney… they know what he can do… what he's capable of… they'll be expecting a trick like a virus… at the finish… what would prevent him?... what would stop him and his plan of a virus?...

…if they removed the hood of John Sheppard…

...if they removed the hood of John Sheppard, beaten and broken...

...there…

...right before Rodney…

...shock tactic…

...there, at the end…

…they knew of Atlantis… someone feeding them info… so they knew of Rodney and Sheppard and Teyla and Ronon… a close team… would do anything for one another… anything… Rodney would undo a virus for Sheppard… to save Sheppard… he would do that… just as they knew Sheppard would do anything for Rodney… proof of that… a stupid, stupid failed rescue mission… 'we've come to rescue McKay'… they'd seen it… seen it in his eyes… he'd do anything for Rodney… he hadn't been able to do flat… indifferent… his eyes had given him away…

_Aundama_

_Aundama? What's that?_

...sees… sees Todd and… two Ancients… held in a Wraith cell…

_These are… these are my thoughts… yet you see them… you can do this?… you have this ability?_

_Seems so…_

…the Ancients scared, even in the darkness, he can see that… battle weary and bloodied... one more so than the other, remaining sitting on the floor while the other rises at Todd's approach, protective and defiant, standing in front of his colleague…

_I had the opportunity to feed on the two of them._

_Spare me the details… I don't want to know… I don't want to see…_

_They were friends apparently. One wishing to be consumed before the other, offered himself first, if I allowed the other his freedom. The other, injured, was of no interest to me, though would suffice until the next feed. I had intended to feed on them both anyway._

_I see it… but I don't want to know._

_Why do this thing? I asked._

_You asked?_

_I was curious, yes. I always strive for knowledge… understanding. And he explained 'aundama'… deep friendship that knows no bounds…_

_Yeah…_

_At that time, I believed only Wraith experienced this for brother warriors… humans… it was… surprising to me._

_What did you do?_

_You truly do not know?..._

…an hour standing… slowly moves forward… has to… to lean against the wall… feet in icy slimy water of the sluice… can't help it… and if it gets him another beating… hell, he doesn't care… plans to go before Paulo… that's gonna stop them… that will stop them using him to get Rodney to finish… make sure he's dead before Paulo… make sure they never get to take that hood off… but there's no reaction from these guys… no kick… no punch… no shout of warning… they don't seem to care that he's moved… simply confirms everything… confirms that if anyone dies today it's going to be Paulo… Paulo is going to be next… that's every goddamned man under his command… try harder then, John… try harder to get them to finish him off… deep breath… pushes away from the wall… runs… doesn't matter where… or what direction… nor that he's blind… and hurt… won't get far… just make them mad enough… mad enough to kill him… trips and falls… hits ground hard… no!... his side… his side… agony… that… that alone should kill him… rolls over… drawing up knees in agony… wait for it… wait for the kicking that will finish him off… wait for the bullet… wait… screws eyes tight even in the darkness of the hood… nothing… no kick… no bullet… only their laughter… hauled up by his elbows… dragged back to the wall… drops to the floor… half out, half in the sluice… no one cares… face in the dirty water again… that's all it gets him… laughter as they move away… expecting him to drag his face clear… that's all it gets him… a face full of dirty water again… right… a deep breathe in through his nose… doesn't even think about it… don't think what it'll be like to drown in a stinking puddle… choking again… gagging… nose cutting… lungs… _Todd!..._ the hood sharply moved… blackness anyway… head pulled back by hair… mouth ripped free of tape… hand smashes across his face… gasps… forced to gasp… thrown over onto his front… retching till the tears roll… and the ache in his side so… so bad… surely… surely he's going to die of that…

'You just try that fucking trick again!'

…yeah! what?! else you're gonna kill me!... in the haze… feet… legs… bodies all round… careful… they're careful that Rodney can't see this… bloodied lips wiped by coarse sleeve… duct tape again… hood again… one parting kick… there… five, ten minutes… try again… they don't know John Sheppard… struggles to his knees… pain inside hot and cutting… death wish… laughs… inside… all this time… all this time trying to keep alive… now… a death wish… up… and running again… more determined… further… used to the blind feel of the floor… more balanced… further… slams hard into rifle… Christ!… shock… loses breath… doubles over… hard down on knees… snorting, panting hard through his nose… come on, guys… come on, guys… finish it… finish it… but dragged back to the sluice again… dumped… panting… pain… that's nothing to being fed on by a Wraith… shoulders pulled back… wrists tied to his ankles… could pass out… why doesn't he just die… why can't he just die?... this is agony… the pain alone should be stopping him… this is agony… agony… agony in his side… whimpers… knows he whimpers… still not giving up… won't give up… one of them… pacing… backwards and forwards… backwards and forwards… come closer… come closer, you bastard… they think he's half dead… perhaps he is… come closer, will you?... now!... throws himself over against the guy's legs… knocks him over… for real... _for real_... falls over Sheppard… more bruises… what does he care?... there beside him on the ground… head butts the guy… actually head butts the man… feels contact… hell, that feels good… hell, that ought to do it… they've just gotta be mad enough now…

'Fuck you! Fuck you, Sh-'…nearly says it… nearly says Sheppard… the guy nearly gives it away… and… fuck?... who says fuck?... and they've said it before… not noticed… never known an alien to say fuck?... no alien says that…

_Todd!... They're from Earth!... They're from Earth…_

Feet are untied… mind thinking… racing… thinking ten thousand things… mind loses Todd… mind too crowded in a black stinking hood… what does Todd say?... dragged again… feet raw with being dragged… why won't they kill him?... they don't… they don't… he dies later… later… more hell to come… more… Todd forcing him on… won't say anything… forcing him on to find him his goddamned clues… nanosecond… thinks of Rodney… why is Rodney so quiet?... witness to this… they've hurt him?… silenced him… what are they doing?... Paulo… Paulo close… moaning… loudly moaning… but they've been moved away from the sluice… panic… what the hell's going on?… they're going to kill Paulo now?... and not shooting him?… pulled up… pushed forward… soft… soft flesh in front… bent over… over Paulo?… over Paulo's back?…what the hell?... Paulo cold… clammy… fear… no!... no!... struggling like crazy… not going to do this… not going to do this… dread… dread… dread have a sound?… heart thumping dread… sound of dread… screaming behind his gag… no!... no!... hands holding him… pushing him against Paulo… Paulo over a table?... hands untied… forced to touch Paulo… Paulo trying to push him away… forced to touch Paulo… not going to do this… not going to do this... his sweat… sticks to Paulo…

'Come on, Sheppard, isn't this what you military boys do all the time?'

...their laughter...

…they're from Earth!… have to be… pulls one hand free…

'Come on, bet it's been a while.'

…they're from Earth… have to be… free hand lashes out… grabbed… laid flat on the table, palm down… explodes… screams exploding against the tape… a world exploding… black… red… stars… his hand smashed… slumps on top of Paulo… Paulo panics... struggles more… frantically moaning… heaving backwards… helpless… helpless…

...no… no… no…

_Todd!_

_half sobs... clutches at his head... and then his fists pressed hard at his eyes... anything... anything to drive out the gouging pain behind his eyes, the hot arcing pain at his temples... the Wraith contact... ripped from the Wraith contact... Todd has moved?... Hell, Todd, you might have warned me!... Hell, Todd!... Throws himself face down on the bed, panting, screwing his face into the sheet... anything... anything... to ease the throbbing pain... Hell, Todd! You might have said!... five minutes... and he raises his head at last... to find he is alone in the chamber..._


	4. Chapter 4

Aundama - Part Four

"Sir, before you leave, you might be interested in this?" suggested Walter. O'Neill had been hoping to go grab forty winks. "We picked up energy anomalies an hour ago? Lasted barely ten seconds so weren't able to do anything like a concrete analysis at the time. Getting confirmation from all over. Nasa. Satellites. Stealth surveillance. Fed it all into a computer…"

"And…? I know you're dying to tell me."

"Bears striking resemblance to a Wraith distress call. This is the second one. Apparently there was another five days ago, but was so brief, everyone thought it was just a computer error."

"Sure?" joined in Cameron, who'd just entered the control room.

"Been triple checked, sir."

"And a location? You have a location, I presume?" prompted O'Neill.

"Norway."

"Norway?" Now, that wouldn't have been his first guess.

"Can't pin it down to anything more specific than that, sir. Except its north of the arctic circle."

"Well, if it's Todd, lets hope he freezes his ass off."

"Unless he still has Ronon and Sheppard," pointed out Cameron.

"Yeah. Right. There's that."

"We're liaising with RNAF now to do a full search," explained Walter, still studying monitors and flicking fingers fast across the keyboard in front of him. "They have their C130Hercules and F16s up as we speak. But so far, nothing's been picked up from the ground. And there's been no repeat of the signal."

"Think he's cloaked again?" suggested Cameron, leaning on the back of Walter's chair with one hand and peering over the tech's shoulder to study the screen.

"Yeah. But why would he signal to other Wraith? He can't possibly reach out as far as Pegasus?... Can he?"

"No chance. A systems malfunction perhaps?" put in Walter.

"Accidental you mean?" Possibly, figured O'Neill. "Or we have more Wraith on our doorstep?"

"But like you said before, General," said Cameron glancing up at O'Neill, "if that were the case, why aren't we crawling with these freaking monsters already?"

And O'Neill frowned, trying to figure out answers. "And why is he still hanging round Earth? Norway, at that? Nothing there but reindeer and Santa Claus is there?"

"Well, he might not still be in that locality, sir. It's simply the last place of contact," pointed out Walter, matter-of-factly.

Cameron shook his head and straightened up stiffly. "This has to do with Sheppard. It just has to be…"

O'Neill made a quick change of plans. Always good to go along with hunches. "How soon can we get to Norway, Colonel?"

"Have you airborne and there in three hours, provided the weather's ok."

"You're clear to go, Colonel Mitchell. Not anticipating any significant frontal systems over the area for the next forty eight hours. And Norway's expecting you at Bodo air base."

"You've organized that already?" Both the Colonel and the General together, surprised.

And Walter simply shrugged.

-oAo-

Sits up, surprised that Todd has left the room. And then surprised he is trembling still. Glances down at his hands, pulling at the chain as he does so. Feeling uncomfortable with the perspiration that has soaked his smock, sticking to his skin. Wipes his neck with a palm. He flops back down to the bed, closing his eyes, content to continue to listen to his heart beat settle, to let his mind clear, to think nothing. And sleep seems like a tempting option if Todd wasn't returning anytime soon. But his mind flat refuses to clear... there's still the problem of finding Rodney, to get him away from those people. And Todd has gone - why? And... there just had to be an easier way to solve all this... at this rate, he was gonna get his brains fried...

Aware of movement. Turns his head sideways to see two Wraith. One is Todd, who walks towards the far wall, faces it, hands clasped behind his back, silent and waiting while the other sets another tray of food on some sort of Wraith desk and leaves. But Todd says nothing even then and continues to face the wall. The hissing of his breathing fast and laboured.

Sheppard stares up at the ceiling. Minutes pass. Ok, this is… awkward…

"How long have we been doing this now?" Anything to break that uncomfortable silence.

"Nearly two of your Earth hours." No wonder he feels so damned drained and exhausted then.

"You think we're not getting anywhere?"

"Hmm!" A scornful grunt that Sheppard guesses is affirmative.

"You stopped... I thought… I thought you said we couldn't stop," says Sheppard quietly, though his voice seems unnaturally loud in the chamber, now free of his mind.

"You wish to continue?" Todd's tone cutting with sarcasm, as he glances over his shoulder back to Sheppard.

"I…" And Sheppard frowns. No. He damn well didn't… who would _want_ to return to that.

"I don't… I don't think anything happened." He is convinced of it. Certain too, that he is recollecting stuff seconds before Todd gets to see it… no… sensing really… and that was what he'd just been sensing… that nothing had happened… though he's seen enough shrinks in his time… knows how much a mind tries and tells you otherwise… denial… no… nothing had happened… but Todd is thinking it had?... this is why he has stopped?... and Sheppard is having to _reassure_ him?... well… that's different…

Still the heavy brooding silence from the direction of the Wraith.

"They're from Earth!" Sheppard repeats, sitting up again abruptly. "Though that does not mean Rodney is _on_ Earth…" he trails off, hoping for some sort of reaction to the fact from Todd. Something. Anything. Not this…

"And you come to this conclusion because of the way they are like animals?" Todd's voice rising. "I had not expected…" And leaves his sentence incomplete. The Wraith does not know what he had expected… he had not expected to ever witness this depravity in humans… though he perhaps should have… they are _animals_, after all… but… he certainly had not expected to be… _shocked_ by it…

"I had not anticipated such… bestiality," he hisses low under his breath.

Well, some might say all this would be an insult to animals but hey, Sheppard isn't about to get into that sort of argument here… and Todd is acting like _he'd_ been the victim, not Sheppard.

The Wraith sighs and returns to staring at the wall. "However, I have sensed it for sometime… I have sensed it through you, that this is, indeed, Earth." What other planet is so _full_ of humans? Teeming with life forces.

Until he had helped Dr. McKay at Cheyenne Mountain, this was an abundance he had never before experienced. Once, he had taken a Dart under an ocean… a shoal of fish… numbering millions… turning this way… and that… this is how Earth had felt when he had first visited, and when he had 'rescued' Sheppard… all those life forces… screaming… shouting… craving for attention… his mind had never been so full… clarity… conciseness of thought virtually disappeared in the clamouring in his head… and then compelled to select only the one life to feed on… to deny himself… when he and his crew could have… gorged… and gorged… and now he is feeling this all over again through Sheppard.

And he turns to face Sheppard. "But regretfully, your mind has not substantiated this supposition of yours… there is no other… clue. No exact location… No other indication except that it appears to be… _cold_."

"No. I guess not… We carry on then…" Uncertain whether he is hopeful on that score or not. Certainly not happy about going back to that nightmare…

"No."

"No?"

"When we began this…" and the Wraith falters. He pities John Sheppard. Yes. This emotion is pity. Pity for a human. And like the grief of yesterday. Never has he experienced these emotions before. They are not Wraith emotions. How could they be? He knows their source. The link is with the Gift. He is receiving these emotions because of the Gift. He is receiving these emotions through Sheppard. He has given Sheppard life. Twice. And Sheppard had given him these emotions in return. That. And human morality too? Yes. This is true. He had denied himself the opportunity to feed on Earth. Except for that one man. And, though Sheppard would think otherwise, he did feel some compassion towards the crew of the Daedalus. Sheppard has instilled in him Sheppard's own morality. It has never before concerned him how a human herd might behave. Sustenance was sustenance. Though he'd felt at first hand the cruelty of the genii. But that was genii against a captive Wraith. And at that time, he'd really not felt… true _compassion_ towards Sheppard's predicament, even then. A means to an end. Though he has to concede there existed some admiration for a fellow warrior. Now that is a _true_ Wraith emotion. Here he is seeing… evil?…suffering? as perceived through the eyes of a human? He knows these things exist. As anything and everything exists. But… he's never before been… _moved_ by them… or… or… the Gift is stirring… this is the beginning of… well, he is intelligent enough to recognise the signs… but can never admit it… but to have thought it, is an admittance in itself, is it not?… aundama…

"When we began this, I did not comprehend… you have said yourself… by compelling you to relive this, I am torturing you as much as they are… therefore… I cannot continue."

Sheppard falls silent, not knowing exactly what to say. But, come again, Todd feeling _sorry_ for him?

_I would not hurt you, John Sheppard. _

And where had that sprung from too? Not that he didn't appreciate the consideration. That and the-bringing-back-to-life-again-thing. But this was getting… hell, what was Todd expecting from him?

"Well… that's… well, that's thoughtful of you… but this is my choice, too, right? And I say we go on."

Todd raises an eyebrow. "Several times you have requested that I stop. Now I have and you wish that I continue?"

"The weapon, Todd! The weapon! You've seen what sort of guys they are… whoever they are. Rodney is adamant. It mustn't fall into their hands. And you've said so too. And this, I assume, is another Ancient weapon?" Those guys really were careless about leaving this kind of stuff just lying around.

"Yes. And it is true that I wish to stop them."

Sheppard knew that. Knew that was genuine. Knew that Todd didn't want this for himself. How? Why was he trusting him?... Why was he trusting Todd? _Todd?_ _A Wraith?_... This was getting weird… An affinity with a Wraith?... Him?... Sheppard?... And if anyone asked… Sheppard would be the first to deny it…

"There! I knew you'd see sense!"

"But… I have not agreed."

"You know you want to!"

"Colonel… I have mentioned this before… this is not going to be easy… this is a prolonged mind link… this has never before been attempted as far as I know without the demise of… that fact alone… and then…" he shook his head, "we may be too late… or might reach the end and still not discover the location we seek-"

"-Don't be so negative! We carry on!"

"We carry on…" Todd. Blinking. It'd been like this in the genii cell. Sheppard. Sheppard leading the way. Sheppard the stronger of the two. It'd be different if he could feed again. He could feel himself weakening. To feel this pain of Sheppard's, as if it is his own, as if it is real, without being able to regenerate, weakens him. This mind control is strenuous to him also. This is true. The human he had fed on had not only left a bad taste but was insufficient for such an undertaking. His energy reserves are depleting faster that he realises. Probably, as Sheppard still seems so surprisingly energetic, Sheppard is sharing that energy. He should have fed on the girl too. Though her incessant screaming would not have sat well… There is always Ronon… Down in the cells… And Ronon seems such a temptation now… but this morality… this new morality that is sweeping over him… somehow he has to adhere to this human's morality… will he never be able to feed again?... is this link with Sheppard to be the death of him?… Sheppard then… has a mind control of his own and is totally oblivious of its effect…

"You should first take refreshment…" and he indicates the fresh tray that had been brought in. Water. Candy Bars. And…

"Is that… popcorn?!! You're kidding me!"

"It is high in glucose. I know that is one of the nutrients that you require."

"And I told you I'm fine," though he accepts the water. "And we haven't the time."

Definitely no Ronon then.

He approaches the bed and takes his position by Sheppard's side again. "You are certain of this, John Sheppard? I believe it weakens us both to stop and start again. Until we find our location, this is through to the conclusion…"

"Yeah, through to the end, no matter what…"

-oAo-

'I thought I told you to quit messing with the prisoners!'

A new voice… a Texan accent… Earth… this has to be Earth… falls to the floor… hard… abandoned like some rag doll… won't pass out… won't pass out… throbbing in his hand unbearable… won't pass out… doesn't know where Rodney is… he's so quiet… not like Rodney… they've hurt him… they've hurt him…

'Where's Dr. McKay?'

'He's up there, isn't he?'

'You left him unguarded? To do _this_?'

...soldiers' boots on the stairs… they're searching… further… distant… in rooms beyond… listens… tries to listen… passes out… back again… in the haze… Rodney's escaped?… but… won't get far… how could he?... alone… passes out… back again at Rodney's voice… shouting… heart sinks… don't hurt him… don't hurt him…

'Looking for the little boy's room!'

'You expect us to believe that!'

'…forgot the way!...'

'You expect us to believe that!'

'…it's the truth!...'

…passes out…

…back again when the shot that kills Paulo wakes him…

…closes his eyes… closes his mind… no more… no more… so sick of this… so sick… dragged back to the cell… hands and feet tied… God! mind the hand… God! please mind the hand!… sleeps fitfully… careful to keep his back to Rodney… waking, that is slow… and even the blackness of the hood seems hazy... and a body racked with pain… moans… tries to stop that… shifts but can never escape… his hand… no, his back is worse… with pain that shoots down to his groin… stifled coughs that rack ribs... lungs... dirty water... cold... though the cold… the cold from the concrete… sometimes… sometimes… dulls the pain to a cold ache… sleeping… waking, that is slow and painful... sleeping that Todd wrenches him from… so he moans… moaning that he tries to stop…

…_no… need… sleep…_

…_there is no time… you do not need it…_

…_yes… do… hurts…_

…_no… it is not real… it hurts only if you fight me…_

…he hears Rodney only once… perhaps he says more but sometimes… sometimes there is blissful sleep without the nightmares… sleep that Todd won't allow… Rodney repeating his apology of the night before… and…

'If you come closer, I have a heater in my cell…'

…come closer… tempting… but won't let Rodney see… wakes… sleeps… wakes… always to the cell floor… sleeps… wakes… hopes… hopes its no longer the cell floor… but it always is… always hard… always cold… always hurting… always no escape… always no respite from Todd… always helpless… always him who got them all caught… always the cold hard cell floor… listening for Rodney... losing count of waking… of sleeping… of hoping… wakes… feet untied… Rodney doesn't speak… already been taken?... alone… alone… no Rodney… alone… none of his men… alone… dragged back to the room again… helpless… so helpless… legs numb… so much pain in his side… legs won't hold him… no strength… no protest… no food, no water… beaten up… how's he gonna make it through another day?... perhaps they'll shoot him tonight… perhaps its tonight that it all ends… but not to the sluice… at the bottom of the stairs?... would fall if not held up by the shoulders…

'You going to work faster today, Dr. McKay?'

...Rodney's there… aware now… aware of closeness to Rodney… aware this is going to be the moment… this… this naked prisoner held in front of him… struggles… doesn't want Rodney to see… doesn't want Rodney to see him… Rodney mustn't see him… Rodney'll cave in… Rodney'll do this thing for them… once he sees its Sheppard… once he sees who's held before him… struggles… struggles… too weak… and held more tightly…

'I am? Yes. Ok. I guess I am…'

…Rodney's bothered… Rodney's nervous… this is not the normal routine… a naked man held before him… yeah… would be bothered by that… effort again… to pull away… can't… too weak… too damn weak…

'Not very convincing, Dr. McKay… Don't you like your fellow man?… Wouldn't mind if there was one less in the Universe?'

'Oh, come on, you're going to kill him anyway!'

…you and me both…

'Perhaps we can persuade you to work faster? To even work at all, as there seems to be such little progress here.'

'What?! You going to shoot him now? Put him out of his misery now? How very considerate of you--'

--the hood's snatched off—

--their eyes meet for a second—

'Sheppard?'

...and Rodney's blinking with disbelief and horror…

'Sheppard?'

…the light hurts his eyes… that's not the reason… not the reason why he looks away from Rodney… shame… ashamed… Rodney's looking him up and down… concern… pity… sympathy… the injuries… doesn't want it… doesn't want it… doesn't want the… concern… pity… sympathy… tape ripped off… gasps, hisses… still… won't look at Rodney…

'Tell your friend, Sheppard, that you want to live a little longer… tell him!...'

…head jerked back… a second… sees Rodney's look… turns eyes away…

'Tell him!' ...prodded hard in the back…

'Rodney… don't… don't do this…'

…biting at pain… butted in the side hard… his good side, no longer his good side… drops to his knees, head jerked back harder… say no… make his eyes say no… tries shaking his head… can't…

'It's ok… It's ok… John… I'll take care of everything.'

'No… don't…'

…a whisper only…

'Don't do this…

…a whisper only…

'You feed him, you give him medical care, you give him back his uniform… then I'll do whatever you ask.'

…no… no… Rodney… don't…

'You're in no position to make demands!'

'Do you want this done or not?!'

…no… no… don't… Rodney…

Rodney's going up the stairs… pauses… looks back… he's nothing but a blur… blinks… senses Rodney's pain… doesn't have to see his face… the way he carries his shoulders…

'Its ok, Sheppard. Believe me, you don't have to worry.'

… senses Rodney's pain… aundama… knows Rodney's pain… as if it were his own… Rodney knows… if he messes up… Sheppard's dead… _Sheppard's_ dead… Sheppard stupid enough to get caught… Sheppard his only hope of rescue… gone… but saying… this thing is bigger than any of us… knows he can't do as they ask…

...allowed to fall where he stands… all day… sleeping… waking… coughing... curls in his protective ball… against the pain… against the aching cold… sleeping… waking… listening for Rodney… they bring Rodney food… Rodney complains that the things he's asked for, for Sheppard, haven't arrived… sleeping… waking… sleeping more than waking… perhaps… perhaps he's dying anyway… perhaps then Rodney will be free… perhaps Rodney has seen that… sleeping… and then coming to in the cell… and not even remembering how he got there… dying…

'Sheppard! Sheppard! Thank God, you're ok!'

...ok?... yeah, he's ok… nearly laughs but damn it hurts…

'I'm sorry… about what's happened…'

…can't bear it… can't bear Rodney's apology… own damn fault… own damn fault that they all got caught… you don't get caught… you don't get caught…

'Don't…' he says… can't finish… too weak… mouth too damaged… mouth weird without the tape… mouth too dry…

'Hurting huh?' asks Rodney. 'They've given you food and water. But why not give you your uniform back? And you're… um… still bleeding…'

… opens eyes… bleary… floor smeared and sticky around his damaged hand… and hands are untied now… that has to be good… and two tins on the floor beside him… one for water… and one, well, he'd never keep it down anyway… reaches instinctively… but with his bad hand… knocks half over… stretches forward and slurps from the tin… like an animal… desperate… trembling… shaking… steadying, without lifting the tin, with his good hand… Jesus… it's like nectar… coughing, but it's like nectar...

'Sheppard… look… have mine too… huh?... the wire mesh? I've worked it loose… take mine…'

…eyes up the distance… only a metre… but… this way… this way… he's curled up… feels… hidden…

'You keep…'

…can't say anymore… head reels… the ice ice cold cold water in his gut… losing… losing…

'Sheppard… here, take it…'

… and Rodney pushes the tin through with an outstretched arm right up to his shoulder…

'You have to drink, even if you can't eat.'

…can't say the words… no… no… thinks, let me die… thinks, if I die you don't have to do this thing… can't say the words… too weak… needs to… needs to make that effort…

'Please, drink… we're going to get rescued you know.'

… no… that should be my line… always me… always… now it's Rodney… and Rodney's said it's ok… and Rodney's said its all taken care of… and Rodney's said he hasn't to worry… assurances… the officer… the officer always says those things… always takes care of his men… always takes care of his team…

'We're going to get rescued. You remember I went missing yesterday?... Sent off a message… they'll never detect it in a million years… Wraith coding, you see… well, if they do detect it, they'll never recognise it… Wraith distress signal… hope it was long enough… got cut off… perhaps I'll get another chance… though... it was probably doing that... that other guy?... a marine?... they shot him because I did that...'

...not... your... fault...

'Come on, drink, Sheppard, please… Don't come this far…' and then… and then…

… eyes up the tin… so longs to drink… pain in his stomach but so longs to drink… has to twist round… Rodney will see him… see him… like an animal… but so longs to drink… and its so so good… don't look at me… don't look at me… don't want your pity… hoarse gasp of thanks and… turns his back again…

'Rod… ney?'

'Don't talk… Here, take my blanket too.'

…blanket? but not going to move again… can't move… not anymore… noises behind him… and a blanket falls on his lower legs… feels its weight… accepts and pulls the blanket up over his shoulders… so good… and warm already… rough and prickles skin, but so good… lays his head on his good arm…

'Rodney?' …a murmur only…

'I know what you're going to say… you don't want me to do this… but I will, for a while longer… if it keeps us both alive… and then? and then, there's the virus…'

… sleeps and wakes… we're dead men, Rodney… not sure if he says it out loud… sleeps… sleeps… sleeps… as Rodney listens and takes care of him… the morning… drinks water again… feeling stronger… just… same routine… dumped at the edge of the sluice… alone… allowed to keep the blanket… so good… comfort blanket… like a kid… doesn't care… best thing that Rodney's ever given him… wakes and sleeps… sleeps and wakes… listens for Rodney… working on the upper floor… no one bothers him here on the lower floor… alone… perhaps Rodney is working faster… meant to tell him, yesterday… don't do this thing… don't do this thing because of him… and brought food and water at the same time as Rodney… tries the food… a few difficult swallows… mouth so sore and swollen… then a fit of coughing... then the nausea… and then the painful need to urinate… nothing for it but to leave the blanket and crawl to the sluice… hot, hot pain… no one notices… they're leaving him alone today… eyes hazy… but notices the blood… not good… but they're dead men anyway… perhaps tonight they will shoot him… but Rodney's taking care of things… Rodney will try and save him… have to tell him… have to tell him not to try and save a dying man… crawls back to the comfort of the blanket… sleeps… wakes… in the cell… able to eat… talking though… talking too difficult…

'You… can't do this… you have to stall…'

'Sheppard,' interrupts Rodney.

'No… listen… it makes no difference… that it's… me…'

… mustn't… try… and… save… a… dying… man… wants to ask… who these guys are?... wants to ask if this is Earth?... wants to ask where are they ?... but the food and the pain still… those questions won't form into words at his lips… sleep easier… waking… listening for Rodney… who is listening for Sheppard… next morning comes… another day and he's not dead… head clearer…

'Rodney?'

'Hmm?'

'How yer doing, buddy?' Rodney's seen men shot... killed... he's not trained... he's not military...

'What?... What brought this on?... No... I'm good.' His eyes say different...

'Where are we?'

... doesn't expect Rodney to know…

'Norway, northern Norway… Earth, you know?'

....too weak to even be surprised…

_Todd__._

'How d'yer know?'

'How? I'm an astrophysicist, or hadn't you noticed?'

… brain still foggy… can't see the link…

'The sky light… see all the northern hemisphere stars in the evening… learnt that stuff in kindergarten… '

_Todd…_

_This is still not enough, Sheppard. We need coordinates._

_At least, head that way! They might not have removed his transmitter. You could pick up the signal… fluttering… Todd communicating with other Wraith?_

'How… did we get here?'

'What's with all the questions? Shouldn't you be resting or something?' Keller would tell him he should… but Rodney explains all the same… pleased to… pleased not to be alone… 'Would you believe, they have a Stargate, complete with a ZPM? Stands to reason, I guess, they'd be more than one on Earth. I can't think they hauled it here from space… here, all the time and built this facility around it?'

'Stupid… place to put it…' attempts some humour…

'Yeah, well… ten million years since Ancients left for Pegasus… has to have been two or three Earth axis shifts since then… probably didn't start off somewhere so cold and miserable…'

'Like… Can… Canada…' eyes so heavy…

…there's almost a smirk on Rodney's face... there… in the haze that passes for vision…

'You know… I nearly don't mind how much you impugn the honour of anything Canadian… coz it means… it means… well… I'm glad you're still alive…'

'… me too… who are they?... Trust?' … pain… breathing shallow… even coughing, shallow... swallows and shuts those heavy eyes… regretting the effort to speak… but doesn't want Rodney to know… doesn't want Rodney to guess how bad he really feels…

'Maybe… don't know… we're only seeing the grunts… perhaps it's like the 007 films… you know… an evil genius aiming at - and select one of the following – world, galaxy, universe dominance…' and then he's serious, earnest, but half the words are lost… 'like the weapon… Stargate in the wrong hands…'

…they're taken to the large room again… his place by the sluice with his blanket again… suddenly… noise… shouting… starts from a half sleep… hauled up from his blanket… room spins, swirls… taken to the bottom of the stairs… this is where it ends… this is where it ends… training… they don't train you for this… pain shooting through his whole damn body and facing the end… mind can't comprehend what's going on… certain though… these guys are angry… certain though this is the end… Rodney protesting… talking fast…

'Wasn't me!... not deliberate!... Please believe me! Please don't hurt him!

… something to do with a formula…

'I'll get it sorted… hey, I'll work through the night… don't need sleep… Please don't hurt him…'

'Rodney!' ... and shouts Rodney's name… able to do that?...

'You were warned!'

…guards hold his arms tighter… no need… too weak to do anything… an ankle curls round each of his own, forcing his legs apart…

'No… don't do this…' begs Rodney, moving forward… a rifle bars his way to prevent him interfering…

'No…' from Rodney.

… sees the knife then…

…energy to struggle… knife slicing upwards… screams out… fuck! fuck! fuck!... guards drop him… gasping… crying… writhing on the floor… hands between his legs… looks at the wound… blood gushing… knows its only his thigh… but damn it hurts… it hurts… eyes shut tight… tears… holding his breath tight… keeping a fist on his thigh tight… and Rodney doesn't know… fuzzy… not passing out?....

_Todd?_

_Sheppard, I'm losing control._

_Not now! We'll miss something! Not after all this time!_

_I cannot…_

_You can! You damn well can! We're not stopping now! Do you hear?! We-don't-stop-now!_

_We?_

_Yeah… us… we…_

…groaning…

...and Rodney's shrieking…

'There was no need to do that!'

...Rodney's seeing all the blood and thinking the worse…

'Get back to work McKay and sort out your problem!'

'I would have done that before! At least, let me see to him, please!'

'No, get back to work! And don't let this happen again. You can see, he can't take anymore.'

…next time…

...left alone… alone on the cold concrete floor… bleeding… to death?… one hand on his thigh… elbows his way… on his belly… slowly… so slowly… flesh grazing on the concrete… heading for his blanket… no one stops him… relief to get to his blanket and wrap it round his thigh… relief to let blackness take him…

_Todd?_... _Todd?_...

_I am here. _

_What happened?_

_I fear the control temporarily fails when you lose consciousness… We may have lost vital information_… _to have come this far…_

_Hang in there!_

…in the cell… but… a mattress… on the floor, but a mattress… hey, they look after the dying?... shivering… shivering… can't tell, hot or cold… Rodney…

'They let me think… they let me think… well, you know… still hurts though?'

...yeah… still hurts…

'And… and… you have a fever… I've asked for dressings but they haven't come…'

… aware of movement… close by… he's lying next to Rodney?... opens eyes… bleared… but Rodney's there…

'Hey?…hey, Rodney?'

… a voice that croaks… too weak to cough, to clear the clogging in his lungs...

'I'm here, Sheppard…'

… Rodney takes off his jacket… takes off his shirt…

'I got them to bring you in here with me…'

… puts his jacket back on…

'…so I can take of you… this isn't so good…'

… indicating his thigh… glances down… blood soaked blanket…

'No…'

…struggles against Rodney's hand…

'You've got to let me see to it…'

'No…'

'Look, I'm giving you the shirt off my back! What more do you want?!'

'No…'

'This is no time to get embarrassed!'

'I'm not!' ...surprised at his own response… Rodney impatient now… starts to rip his shirt into strips anyway… starts to remove the blanket anyway… too weak to fight…

'It's not like I've ever been good at this first aid stuff.'

'I know…'

'Thanks… so that's why you don't want me to do this?'

… thinks no… thinks he doesn't want… need… pity… taken care of… Sheppard's job… to take care of Rodney… his men… failing… Rodney whistles low…

'It was close…'

… yeah… yeah… embarrassed too…

'I mean I really thought…'

'Yeah, you said…' gasps the words… wants to push Rodney away… wincing… screwing his eyes tight… holding breath… holding back the cry… has to allow Rodney to do this… knows he will probably bleed to death if he doesn't… Rodney throws the blanket away to a corner… binds the gash on the thigh… quickly… deftly… firmly… he's better than he claims…

'You… know… I don't… let… just… anyone… do… this… ' …words tight…

Rodney hesitates as he finishes tying off the ripped shirt… looks at him seriously… Rodney… all this time… serious…

'No, I guess not,' he says.

… it's a joke but neither smiles… curls up on the mattress grateful… away from Rodney again…

'I've told them,' says Rodney, 'I'm not doing anything unless they take better care of you.'

'No… Rodney… you're not to do anything… it's a weapon, right?…'

'It's fine. I know what I'm doing. I told you, I'm taking care of it…'

'The virus?...They'll never… let you get away with it… they'll kill us… as soon as the work is done… even… a delayed virus…'

…swallows hard… it hurts to talk this much… his head is swimming… eyes unable to focus…

'Kill us? No…'

…quickly changes the subject…

'Have some drink…'

… and Rodney cups a hand under his head to offer water to his lips… so grateful… hands shaking too much… shakes too much…

'What… d'yer agree to Rodney?'

…Damn! Rodney, what did you agree to?... sleeps and wakes… wakes…

_What is this?_..._ Confusion… Little is clear… the fever worsens?_..._ Sheppard?_...

…can't… can't… stop shaking… so hot… so hot…

'Rodney?... Rodney?...'

'Here… I'm here…'

…can't see him…

'Rodney?...'

'I'm here… Didn't I say I wouldn't leave you?'

…sleeps… bad dreams… his men getting shot… hands tied and he can do nothing to stop it… Sheppard, it's your fault!… Sheppard, it's your fault!…

_Dreams, Todd?_

_I fear I am unable to stop them…_

Rodney?... where are you?... guards in the corridor…

'Hey! I have your uniform? How about that?'

…Rodney drapes the jacket over his shoulder… can't bear to be moved… Rodney?...

'Sorry, got to use your shirt as well… Why do you bleed so much?!'

'Rodney?... don't…'

…what mustn't Rodney do?... trying to tell him… trying to tell him… what did Rodney mean, 'kill us? No'… penny drops… Rodney meant… Rodney meant… when he said 'kill us? No'… meant, they'll kill me, only me, only Rodney… but not you, Sheppard… sees that in his eyes… they can kill me, but they're not going to kill you… this what Rodney meant…

'Rodney?...'

…shivering... shivering…

'God! You're still so hot!'

…the guards again…

'Right, that's it! You're not getting anymore out of me until he gets medical attention or you return him - preferably the latter!'

…tables are turned… Rodney's calling their bluff… they know he means business… focuses a second… Rodney's folding his arms… they know he means business… Rodney's moving him…

'Hey!... trying to make you decent… going on a trip… don't want to get back to Atlantis looking like this do you?'

…washing his face… soaking his head with cold so good cold water…

'Rodney?...'

'Sending you back…'

'Rodney, don't do this…'

'Believe me, this way is best…' can't see Rodney's face… through the haze… and if he could… he would see the same forced optimism that's in his voice…

'Rodney… they… will… kill… you…'

'So… what are you trying to say here?... it's ok if you stay and the two of us get killed?... always liked simple maths, myself!... and here's some simple logic that even you can follow, what's better than two of us getting killed?... and the correct answer is?... One… anyway, they won't kill me… they daren't… even if they discover the virus… they'll need me to unravel it… and you can trust me to install the virus from hell… they'll never crack this on their own… and I'll try and get another Wraith signal off… if I don't… Look, remember… these digits… co-ordinates… remember?... ok… ok… you can't… I'll write them down… oh God, this is so… _gross!…_ here… here… here…'

…and writes them… in blood… Sheppard's blood… on Sheppard's arm… on his side… on his thigh…

_Todd! Todd!_

_What are they, Sheppard?_

_Longitude. Latitude._

_Incomplete…_

_Well, fill in the damned gaps!_

…dresses him… gives him water again…

'Don't forget…'

'Rodney!...'

'Good luck…'

…Rodney!... they're taking him away… don't forget… it's all so hurried… no chance… no chance to really say goodbye… don't forget, Rodney… don't forget, Rodney… the sound of chopper blades... beating, drumming... sleeping... waking... the drone of a cargo plane... he could die here... he could die here flying... but mustn't forget Rodney... sleeping... waking... hot... hot blinding heat of the desert... head hurts... sick... so sick... coughing in the dust of a dirt track... Rodney...

'How could we ever forget Rodney?' asks a medic... face in white hot blinding sun...

'…he's delirious…'

....the Doc's voice again… where's Keller?... she would understand…

'Colonel?… any idea… any idea where Rodney is?...'

…has to remember… Rodney set me free… wasn't that… Sheppard should have set Rodney free… that's what he'd set out to do… words… broken sentences… faces that come out of the mist…

…someone in a white coat… ' try fingernail samples… slight chance… might get a match…'

…because he's filthy… Rodney has tried cleaning him… but he's filthy dirty… under his uniform… they know he's been stripped… pity again… don't want the pity… he's the one whose left Rodney behind… numbers… don't wash the numbers… words… sentences… faces out of the mist… O'Neill… his face… this is bad… this is bad… but he's known this… inside, he's all messed up… Earth… Earth… Norway… can't make them hear… oxygen mask… try… harder… try… don't wash… don't wash… don't wash the numbers… struggles… Rodney's written it down… 'you mustn't worry…' don't wash… delirium… no… no… look… look… arm… don't wash… arm… don't wash… numbers… don't forget Rodney…

-oAo-


	5. Chapter 5

Aundama - Part Five

The last missing co- ordinates on Sheppard's arm. A moment to reflect that Dr. McKay was so innovative in their means of provision. This time, care to slowly relinquish Sheppard from the mind control... perhaps... he owed him this much...

"Sheppard?" Concern as the Colonel slumped forward, and Todd, surprised, instantly supported him in his arms. Sheppard's eyes fluttered open.

"Todd?" The human was clearly still dazed, not even registering that the Wraith held him.

"You remember where you are now, Colonel Sheppard?"

"Sure... sure... that was... that was one helluva ride..." Todd stood, then, to leave Sheppard sitting unaided.

"Hmm... indeed. You should rest now. I have my hive to attend to." Sheppard simply nodded, hardly seeming to comprehend.

Todd turned away from the bed, heading for the door. He had controlled his voice. Controlled his face now. Even his walk would be a stagger if he did not make the effort to conceal it. This whole procedure had depleted his energy far more than he had anticipated. So exhausted. So drained. Towards the end… towards the end it was as if he had been… dying… dying Sheppard's death with him… and there existed the burning desire to feed… if not Ronon… a drone then would have to be sacrificed…

"Damn it, Todd! You have to take me with you!"

He paused in his steps. Sighed deeply. This sudden outburst. This argument. He had expected it. But he had also hoped that Sheppard would not recover sufficiently to make it.

"And I have said, that I would not," he reminded Sheppard without turning.

"What is it!? You don't trust me?! After… all this?! You think I'm after this weapon?! Is that it?... Todd?!!" The chains clinked noisily behind him. Desperately pulled. "Todd?! You gotta let me go with you! This is Rodney! I need to be in on this for Rodney!"

"You will slow us down! You are weak!" he retorted verging on contemptuously. And he continued to the door, careful to use strong strides.

"Oh, and you're not, I suppose? Come on, I've…" sensed it. The voice quiet. And Todd stopped again. He peered back at Sheppard. It was no surprise that Sheppard had, indeed, sensed his fatigue. He leaned back heavily against the door frame. After all, there was little point in concealing it any longer. Unable to hold himself steady. Faint. Perspiration at his brow. And the room spinning. The hunger and the thirst deep inside gnawing.

"And then, is it not enough that I do not feed upon you? Feeding would, after all, renew my strength." A look of shock briefly on the Colonel's face. "No. Sheppard. It is not you that I do not trust. It is I."

"Hey, then… let me come…" uncomfortable with the awkwardness.

"To assist me? You wish to come for my benefit? For me?" smiled Todd wryly as he finished Sheppard's sentence.

Sheppard's eyes narrowed. "You still reading my mind?... But… we're practically blood brothers here… that's how this whole Gift thing works, huh?"

"Blood brothers?"

"Yeah, picked that up from old westerns I watched as a kid… perhaps you wouldn't understand…" An image in Todd's mind. Of human aboriginals. Exchanging brother vows. The drawing of blood on hands. The clasping of hands to seal the bond. The mixing of blood. The analogy was not so incorrect.

"You are offering to help… because of me? I am truly… touched…" Lacing his tone with sarcasm. To hide… to hide he was… truly touched… that Sheppard could be so honest…

"Well," said Sheppard, with an expression that he'd regretted admitting so much… "how about for me then? Let me come for me."

"Your attempts at persuasion do not cease to amaze me… there seems no limit…" his amusement at Sheppard's inventiveness was certainly rallying his strength.

"Hell, do this for me… I just want to see these guys' faces when a whole hoard of Wraith descend on them."

"Revenge, Sheppard?"

"Yeah, revenge. I want to kick ass. What's wrong with that? Hell, it seems like the best reason of all."

"And your morality at Wraith taking human life?"

"Just flew out of the window… anyhow… if I'm there, they'll be less for you to finish off."

"I do not doubt it." And Todd walked off into the corridor beyond, raising his voice so he could still be heard. "But, as I have formerly pointed out, you are weak!"

"Todd! Hey, Todd, I'll eat now! I'll eat all the goddamned popcorn you want me to! Todd! Todd! Don't you _dare_ leave without me!" And Sheppard was heard frantically pulling against the chain again.

"I will consider all that you have said! But…" and he re-entered the room, scrutinizing Sheppard, tilting his head to gauge the Colonel's reaction to his counter-argument.

"It would be unwise of me to release you, do you not think, Colonel Sheppard, when you have declared your intention to kill me at your earliest opportunity?" And, with that, he turned on his heels and left finally, with Sheppard's shouts echoing behind him down the corridor.

"Todd! It's still for Rodney! More than anything! It's still for Rodney! Todd! Listen to me, damn you!"

Friend. Aundama.

And the Wraith had permitted both the Ancients their freedom. All those years ago.

-oAo-

"What made you change your mind?" As his hands were freed of the chains.

"There is no reason. I merely considered all that you said, as I indeed promised."

"Come on, Todd! This is me you're talking to! I know you… there's always a reason… you've actually _got_ to have my help… and that means…well, that means there's gotta be a really _big_ sort of reason why…"

And Sheppard began to wolf down the bowl of… meatballs in tomato sauce. Hey, not a favourite of his but it'd pass. Aware suddenly of the three Wraith in the room eyeing him up… hungrily?

"You guys not eating, huh? And here's me hating to dine alone." And he shrugged and carried on spooning up his meal.

Todd suppressed a growl, rumbling deep in his throat. In a don't-push-me-too-far sort of way. There was still Ronon in the cells, after all…

And suddenly, Sheppard paused with his meal. Frowning. A thought flickered across his face. Todd saw it. The same image. The same picture of Ronon in the cells. He must learn to close his mind. How much would Sheppard now discern if he did not? This was going to prove most inconvenient.

"Is anything concerning you, Sheppard?" He asked innocently.

"No. Nothing. Just… nothing." He resumed eating, speaking with his mouth full. "Actually, about helping out, I've changed my mind. I'm not doing it."

"Sheppard?" growled Todd again. With some annoyance. And a lot more menace.

"I should watch that… growling… that could be habit forming, you know," pointing at Todd's chest with his spoon.

"Sheppard!" With even more menace. His fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. "What is the meaning of this?!"

"Oh, and why should I tell you why I've changed my mind, when you won't tell me why you've changed yours?"

"I was about to explain."

"Oh yeah?!"

"Yes."

"And you decided to do this _explaining_, what, ten minutes ago?" He was finishing eating and starting on the drink. Some sort of cherry-flavoured soda-cum-sports drink that made him wince it was so sour. Where did Todd get the idea from that he liked _this _stuff? Now Ronon, on the other hand…

"I had every intention of explaining." Only because it was unavoidable.

"Go on, spit it out. What's the deal this time?" Because that's how it always was with Todd.

"I will permit you to accompany me on this mission if you can persuade your Stargate Command and their allies to clear the area and leave it to my hive to secure the release of Dr. McKay and the destruction of this weapon."

Whoa! And Sheppard slowly put down his drink. "SGC are in the area?"

"You remember, Dr. McKay said he might attempt another Wraith distress signal? Apparently, he achieved this objective and it has caught their attention. The vicinity of the complex is demonstrating a high degree of military activity. This is in danger of putting this whole mission in jeopardy. Once suspicious, these people will surely make their escape through their Stargate taking Dr. McKay and any of the work he has undertaken thus far, with them."

"Then let SGC take over. They can jam the 'gate and move units in."

"It is true they have the technology to do the former, but our beaming technology is by far the most superior means to access this place undetected, and ultimately that fact alone will ensure success. If the weapon has already been completed, it is probable that any incursion will result in a premature deployment and Earth and its whole solar system will be destroyed."

"The Daedalus-"

"-is midway between Atlantis and Earth." Another ten days then.

"The Apollo-"

"-Also in Pegasus… the one that you call Michael…"

Sheppard nodded. He remembered that both the ships had been asked for. But how the hell did Todd find out this stuff?

"SGC will want this weapon. They won't quite so readily just sit back and let you destroy it. Or _trust_ you to destroy it."

"Then we will not tell them of its existence."

"You expect them to believe that you're doing all this just to save Rodney?"

"Then you must convince them that I do indeed intend to destroy this weapon and this will be of benefit to everyone concerned. You will, after all, be accompanying me and will be able to ensure this outcome."

"You can radio SGC?"

"Provided we de-cloak, yes."

"They could just blow us out of the sky. It's probably you they're looking for anyway. And they probably won't buy it that I'm not dead."

"I am confident you will make your best endeavour to convince them."

"Right. Lets get to that radio. I need some clothes."

"We have them ready."

"You want me to wear _that_?" One of the other Wraith, had stepped forward, offering one of those long, _very heavy,_leather-looking tunic-things. Embellished with straps and a belt, it had to weigh, what, thirty pounds? No way... but he'd seen at first hand what little damage one of these Grade A1 tunics could take at the receiving end of a P90 and suddenly, with the absence of a tac vest, it seemed like a very good idea.

"There is nothing else. I was able to obtain food from Earth but neglected to find you clothing."

Sheppard pulled a face. "Didn't feel the need to look that far ahead, huh?"

Todd made no response, ignoring the clear accusation in Sheppard's voice, that once Rodney's location had been determined, Todd would have no further use for him. He indicated instead to the third Wraith, carrying a black shirt, loose black leggings and boots.

Sheppard stood beside the bed, the ill-fitting smock sitting at a clumsy angle across his shoulders, wincing, rubbing his wrists, marked with red and sore weals, the result of far too many unsuccessful attempts to escape. One day... one day he was just going to have to find out how Houdini did all that stuff...

"You require bandages for those, Sheppard?"

"No. I'll live."

"Hmmm… You realise the urgency..." Todd, hinting, gesturing to the clothes now laid out across the bed, feeling impatient that Sheppard wasn't already dressing.

"Right. You guys… er… going to watch while…"

Todd let out a snort and glared crossly at the Colonel for time wasting.

"Right." No option then but to undress in front of these three. He promptly turned his back and pulled the smock over his head.

Todd glanced away. He'd had enough dealings with humans to understand their sense of decorum but... this was not out of politeness. It was simply… difficult to remain impassive in front of the other two Wraith. To keep his thoughts hidden from them… his mind flooding with too many… too many new emotions, that would condemn him in their eyes… for what was this?... what was this?... admiration?... when he sees Sheppard's naked back?... and then… quickly succeeded by sadness… that he, a Wraith should succumb to… such admiration for this human… no, shocked… this should not be so. This sentiment should be an anathema to him. An abomination. Completely abhorrent. But... but he is tempted to look again. Despite all the recent hardships Sheppard had endured… the muscle tone… across the arms and shoulders… the backs of thighs… across the hips… as the Colonel deftly pulled on the leggings and tied them at the waist... admiration. He recalled that he had encountered this fleetingly with Teyla… but on that occasion, Teyla had been totally transformed into a Wraith Queen…

And then, his mind flooded with the familiar Wraith emotion… fully aware he was sharing this experience with the other two… he swallowed hard to fight it… the lust to feed… and he remembered the past… if he could feed on this human… this particular human… it would be pure, pure ambrosia… it was probably good that Sheppard had his back to them at that moment…

On went the shirt… and then Sheppard seemed to struggle getting into the leather tunic. One of the other Wraith stepped forward to assist and proceeded to tie up the stiff buckles at the front. Sheppard allowed it and didn't fight him off.

"Heck, Todd, it's nearly as hard as getting into a space suit! How do you guys cope? Hope this didn't belong to a dead Wraith?" Buckling on the belt as he talked.

"No. It was made especially for you." And Sheppard started and looked up sharply. That was… that was just about the last thing he expected Todd to say. He'd been measured up while he slept? "It fits you well, John Sheppard." His stature fitted the Wraith coat well. Pride. Todd was now feeling pride mingling with the other emotions. Proud of this choice of fellow warrior. But endeavouring still, to keep these thoughts away from the other two.

"Todd! What the hell!" A look of alarm on Sheppard's face and he took a step backwards. Todd had removed his knife from his belt. Too suddenly perhaps judging from the Colonel's expression.

"Be calm, Sheppard. I simply wish to trim the bottom of the coat. You are somewhat shorter than a Wraith." Todd stooped down to complete his task whilst Sheppard smiled weakly at the other two Wraith, who stared back stonily. Hell, he was starting to feel like a kid being dressed for that first big day at school. Pretty soon they were going to give him an apple for teacher. Todd stood again and surveyed his handiwork. Then, reversing the knife and holding its blade with fingertips only, he presented its handle to Sheppard.

Sheppard hesitated, questioning the gesture with a look.

"You want me… to have… your knife?"

"I have others…" said Todd lightly, "however," he added as Sheppard accepted the weapon, "this is an especial favourite of mine that has been in my possession for thousands of years."

Then, he didn't let just any old person have it. Damn. Sheppard nearly felt like handing it straight back. All this. All this. The clothes. The dagger. Was all an honour thing with Todd. Was all a _Wraith_ honour thing. And he wasn't sure if he were ready for this… didn't think he could ever be ready… He stared down at the heavily ornate dagger, its handle intricately carved with… bugs.

"Todd… you're not… you're not trying to make me… make me into… you know… a _Wraith worshipper_?"

He'd have to watch out if he saw anything like Wraith enzyme in the offing.

Todd wouldn't meet his eye.

"No. You are in need of clothing and weapons. If they are Wraith, then it will simply make you more acceptable to the others… that is all…" Sheppard wasn't sure he could believe that. He laid the dagger on the bed ready to stash later into his belt and sat down to haul on the boots. Discovering that despite its weight, the coat was soft, supple and flexible. As were the boots. And that was good as it had been looking like his feet were in for some rough treatment without socks. Hell, Sheppard! You're starting to sound like McKay. Rodney. Remembering what this masquerading as a Wraith was all about.

"There is one other thing I would like you to do… also to ensure your acceptability…" and Todd looked at one of the other Wraith now carrying a pot of black, well, gunk was the word that came most readily to Sheppard's mind.

He frowned. This wasn't how he remembered the enzyme to be… but still hoped like hell he wasn't going to have to eat whatever was in that pot.

"What is that stuff?" he asked, screwing up his face, more than ever so slightly fidgeting to pick up the dagger and put it to good use… but it couldn't be harmful, could it? Not after arming him with a knife… but there, what these guys did for kicks… chasing runners round on planets… you could never be too sure…

"Pigmentation. We use it for our marks."

"You're going to… give me… a _Wraith tattoo_?" It was weird how he got the words out. Surprised didn't come close. He knew his eyes just grew large and wide. His hand was firmly on that dagger handle now. Sort of reflex action. Sort of. There was no way he was gonna have a Wraith tattoo. Come on Sheppard… you've just been beaten… _to death_… you can be braver than that, buddy… what's a tattoo to make you more… amenable… it's not like… it's not like… they're gonna carve… John hearts Sue on his backside…

"We haven't the time. We intend to simply paint the marks. It will stain but will not be permanent."

"You the in-house artist, huh?"

He allowed the Wraith with the pot to approach, to turn his chin so his head was in a comfortable working position and to begin carefully stroking on the paint with a small brush around his eyes. Occasionally the Wraith, that Sheppard was tempted to call Pablo, looked up to study Todd's features.

Todd explained. "He is copying my own markings. These have not been used since the destruction of my original hive. I thought it was fitting as I am, in effect, vouching for you and taking you under my protection."

Hey, Sheppard didn't particularly care if it then meant he was safer in these guys' company.

And then it was weird. Todd took the brush from Pablo's hand and commenced to finish the markings.

Sheppard stiffened, resisting the urge to pull away. In his head then. A memory. Two boys in a tree house. Stripped to the waist. Grey toy daggers tucked into belts. Crudely crafted bows hung over shoulders. Pared twigs for arrows strewn across the planked floor. A band of cloth snuck from their mother's needlework box twisted around their foreheads. A single feather stuck in each. One boy, the taller, David, held a jar of squashed blueberries. Three bold dark stripes down either cheek. With a finger dipped into the juice, solemnly marking the face of the younger boy, John.

_Now we are more than brothers, we are blood brothers also._

"Just so," said Todd, understanding, completing his work, replacing the brush back into its little pot.

"When are you going to quit with the telepathy stuff?" Nearly an insult back at Todd. Nearly angry that Todd was still messing with his mind. He hated it that Todd had been allowed to see so much... while he was captive... Hell, he'd hate if one member of his team had ever seen so much... The Wraith had no right... no right to... hadn't earnt the right to... He stood abruptly, remembering to pick up the dagger and tuck it into the sheath on his belt. Yeah, he knew he was deliberately breaking the mood, but he just wasn't comfortable with this… with Todd getting that… close… not that he wasn't grateful for having his life saved… but Todd had no damned right...

"Do we get to go now?" He saw it. Briefly. As Todd was quick to conceal it. The flicker of hurt in the Wraith's eyes. "Look, we have a deal. We help each other…"

"And then… all bets are off," concurred the Wraith, nodding.

"Yeah… All bets are off…"

-oAo-

"Sir?"

"Yeah!" O'Neill was as ratty as hell. He'd just missed lunch because of the flight and someone had been sent for sandwiches, but somehow they seemed to have gotten lost. In translation probably.

"We've just received a message from Sgt. Harriman, sir." Though these guys spoke excellent English. Couldn't organise a sandwich but spoke good English, you had to give them that...

"Yeah?" The tech. frowned. The Norwegian probably not accustomed to a General who spoke so casually… tight-assed… stopped himself… remembering Sam saying once he was too quick to judge… but he always got so goddamned hungry and irritable after a flight…

"He thinks you should take it yourself?" and the tech handed him the head set from the neighbouring console.

O'Neill clumsily put it on, and Cameron appeared then, so he lifted one side enabling his Colonel to listen in.

An excited Harriman at the other end. "You're never going to believe this, sir, but two minutes ago we received an IDC from, well, you're never going to believe this, sir."

"Go on, surprise us... you're just killing us with suspension…"

"IDC from Colonel Sheppard."

"No. Not surprised," said the General flatly.

"You're not?"

"No."

"Oh… Well, er, it's been verified and sourced virtually to the same co-ordinates as yourselves, give or take a few hundred miles. In orbit. Can you take the call, sir?"

"Patch him through."

"General O'Neill, sir?" Came the familiar voice, moments later.

"Sheppard? Care to tell us what on earth's going on? And this had better be good… something along the lines of saving the world, galaxy, universe, against all odds, would do nicely…"

-oAo-


	6. Chapter 6

Aundama - Part Six

Cold. It is cold here too. Much like the mortuary at SG Command. He knows that not all the planet is so disagreeable. But then, why are all the places he has the misfortune to visit so cold?

Quiet. Dark. But like all Wraith, possesses excellent night time vision. Excellent hearing. Excellent sense of smell. Excellent memory. He can, therefore, remember the scent of Rodney. He alone can pass on that information to fellow Wraith. And they alone can hunt out Rodney in this maze of corridors. And Sheppard's memory deficient in recall as to the exact location of the scientist. And the Wraith knows he was correct. That Sheppard and Ronon are of no use on this mission. Chuckles silently at the memory of Sheppard's face showing distaste.

"You're gonna _scent_ him out like you're some kind of hound?"

"Hound?"

"Hunting dog."

"Ah… I and five Wraith will be able to successfully locate Dr. McKay. We have no Life Signs Detector. This is a tried and tested way and perfectly adequate for our purposes. You can stay here and... guard." Meaning the entrance to the complex.

"Guard? We didn't come here to just guard!" hissed Ronon. And Todd had hissed back with equal black threat. He could tolerate Sheppard but not the Satedan quite so readily. The threat was scarcely enough to quieten Ronon but was enough for Sheppard to jab an elbow into his friend's ribs before he could follow with another objection. Sheppard understood. They'd only been permitted on the mission out of sufferance. 'You don't push it' had been Sheppard's words.

"Yeah. We'll stay here and… guard," agreed Sheppard, all too flippantly for Todd's liking. "And how will we let you know if anyone comes? No radios, remember? A warning shot? That's gonna wake up the whole neighbourhood." Todd gave a meaningful look and realisation dawned on the Colonel. "Oh…"

"What?" Ronon looking puzzled from Sheppard to Todd. "What?"

"Trust me, he'll know," heard Todd as he followed his five Wraith companions into the darkness.

One by one, each level checked out. Ten minutes. In his mind. Sheppard.

'_You have two guards coming your way. Want us to take care of them? If we do, likely someone is gonna realise they're missing and get all suspicious.'_

'_No. You are correct. Now is too soon to finish the enemy. We will conceal ourselves and allow them to pass.' _

Ronon in the background. '_They might be heading for Rodney.'_

_'No. They let him sleep at night,'_ explains Sheppard.

'_They did.'_

_'Hey!'_

_'Sorry. I just meant… they might have changed the routine…'_

The Wraith shuts out the rest of their conversation. Concentrating on quietening his breathing. Concealing himself into the shadows of the dimly lit corridor. Listening for the footsteps that duly come close by. That then recede. The exchange between the guards heard through a fellow Wraith. "Hey, you hear a noise?" "No… Nothing. You must have heard that McKay snoring." The other Wraith holding his breath. The voices and footsteps faint and disappear.

'_You are closest then. When you find hi__m, wait for me,' _he instructs the second Wraith.

'_I'm coming too.'_

'_Sheppard?'_ Surprised. _'No. Stay where you are. We still need that guard.' _

'_I'll leave Ronon.' _

'_You know that I cannot pick up Ronon's thoughts. Stay where you are. Why are you being so recalcitrant?'_

'_Recalcitrant?'_

'_You still do not trust me? I have told you, I will not harm Dr. McKay. I have need of him to disarm this weapon.'_ All this. All this while he is still walking towards the other Wraith. _'Sheppard?' _

'_I heard. Staying put. Out.'_

With too much mockery, that vexes the Wraith. Sheppard is… playing with him. Wishes he had not so readily acquiesced and permitted the two humans to accompany them. No. Perhaps Ronon is a mistake. A last minute decision. But he may still need Sheppard. When, in all this, was he ever going to be free of that human? Making more demands as a part of the bargain. That Ronon should come...

And Sheppard, though Todd had closed his mind, had sensed the presence of Ronon, deep in the bowels of the ship. The cells. Approached in the semi-darkness. Ronon's anger fiery and instant. Seeing the dress and appearance of Sheppard.

'What have you done to him!?' Ronon would have killed Todd ten times over if it were not for the bars of the cell. 'He was dead! Can't you even leave the dead alone?!' Attempting to reach through and to take Todd by the throat. Punching the bars in fury when thwarted by the force field. If you wanted this man on your side, he would make a good ally. But Todd did not. Ronon was one more complication to consider.

'I am not Michael. There was no experimentaion. Be assured, I have done nothing to him. He is dressed like this of his own volition.'

'I don't believe you! He was dead!'

'And I re-iterate, I have done nothing to him. Except-'

'-It's ok, Chewie. Calm down. Honestly, there was nothing else to wear. And since you asked, yeah, I'm ok and can speak for myself. Todd... ' Was it really so painful for Sheppard to admit it? 'Todd brought me back to life.' Even that explanation had done little to persuade the Satedan.

'The Sheppard I knew would never agree to the tattoo!'

'The Sheppard you _know_ would, if it gets us to Rodney. And don't you go getting jealous of the tattoo - you're not getting one - we haven't the time.'

'Back away from the door,' one of the Wraith guards had instructed.

'Do as they say, Ronon,' ordered Sheppard.

And Ronon still stood there. Unmoving. 'How do I know? How do I know you're the real Sheppard? How do I know this isn't a trick?'

'A trick to do what exactly? A trick to free your ass?'

And Ronon backed away as the door opened with six stunners trained on him. To be safe. 'You could be a clone.' Still persistent.

'Hey, and I missed you too. I missed that suspicious mind of yours… Now take your damned gun and let's get out of here!' And Ronon had looked down at his gun. This had been proof. This had been proof that he could trust them.

Another one of Sheppard's Team. McKay. Breathing deeply. Asleep on a mattress in a cell. A dark shape in the grey-yellow dimness. The corridor is lit by a single sickly light. The floor stained… with human blood. The Wraith growls low at the wave of stench hitting his nostrils.

"Dr. McKay!" he hisses.

Sheppard. _'You've found him!'_

'_Yes.' _

'_We're coming!' _

'_And I've asked you to remain where you are!'_ Nothing more follows. Is Sheppard intending to follow? Or not? He must hurry now before Sheppard arrives.

"Dr. McKay!" A groan from the form that now stirs and turns and continues to sleep. His fellow Wraith reaches through the bars with his stunner and gives the recumbent scientist a gentle prod.

"Oh, what now?!!!" demands McKay. A voice too loud. They will be discovered.

"Quiet!" rasps Todd.

"What?! Oh, now I know I've gone crazy!" As he turns again to catch sight of the two at the bars. Then a lower voice as he stands and comes to the door.

"Todd? It… It really is you? Only I thought I had gone nuts or was dreaming… You must have… must have picked up my distress signal… No. No. No. No. You're too far away for that-"

Todd trying to pick the lock with the tip of his knife blade.

"-There is no time for an explanation. I need to release you quickly and to proceed upstairs to disarm the weapon you have been working on."

"How do you know all this? Sheppard told you? He made it back? He's ok? They told me he'd been picked up. They showed me pictures but I didn't think I could believe them..." McKay white and anxious.

Still struggling with the lock.

"I have said. No time to explain."

"If the Marines had come, they can soon break open a mechanical lock. Trained you see. Sheppard can do it before you can blink. And Ronon. Pity you didn't bring any of those with you… not that… not that… I wouldn't look a gift horse… or... or gift Wraith… so to speak… in the mouth…" trailing off and backing away from the snarl at Todd's lips.

"I can assure you that I am quite capable of carrying out this task but only if you were to remain silent!"

The lock gives. But Rodney still remains where he is.

"Quickly!" Todd demands tersely, holding open the door. Quickly as he is certain that Sheppard approaches. And there may be decisions to be made… and it would be best… it would suit his purposes if Sheppard were not there to interfere.

"How do I know… how do I know I can trust you? I mean… why _didn't_ a whole unit of commandos just abseil in?"

A snort of impatience. Why were humans so difficult? They are freed and they display such ingratitude.

"It is, as you say, a long story. Please let us make haste, Dr. McKay. Please accept that it is I who am here to rescue you and that this rescue is sanctioned by your Stargate Command."

The scientist is only half-satisfied. But that is sufficient. McKay leads the way down the corridor. The Wraith's ears do not pick up the noise of approaching footsteps that hurry nor the scent of Sheppard and Ronon. He leaves his fellow Wraith behind to guard the corridor.

"We can't use the lift obviously," explains McKay. They walk past the black gates that Todd has seen in Sheppard's mind. McKay knows where there are stairs. One day the lift was not operational. Hopefully Sheppard can be slowed down here. He also would not dare to use the lift and alert the guards. Must try hard. Must try and close his mind to Sheppard. To close his mind means Sheppard will not discover the stairway quite so readily. To close his mind means Sheppard will not discover what he may need to do… Perhaps… perhaps he senses it… perhaps this is why the Colonel is making such haste. And it is curious… curious that at some point… at what point, did the Wraith telepathy… that he used to probe Sheppard's mind… become… reciprocal?

'_Todd! Todd! What are you playing at?!'_

Ah, there he is… shut him out… shut him out… More difficult than it seems. A need to concentrate on Rodney. A thought. An order. To other Wraith. Hold them. Hold them back. Do not… hurt them… use the stunners?... only if there is a need… we must not arouse the guards… a battle now on… one…two… three… four fronts? To gain Rodney's trust. To maintain Sheppard's but to keep him at arm's length… for he needs the Colonel to keep Stargate Command at bay… And finally, the last front, with the guards of this complex.

And this is difficult too. A metal gantry. Moves stealthily as a Wraith can. Eyes flitting, searching the shadows. Ears alert to all dangers. But… McKay… irksome… in his clumsiness… is it too much to ask that he makes some effort to quieten his footfalls? And then… distant voices. Guards. Behind them. Though there is certainly no sense of panic or anger to be distinguished in the voices. No alarm has been raised… yet. But then, he has noted, there has not been a single piece of monitoring equipment. And Rodney is of the same thought…

"Always weird that they have no surveillance," the human whispers too loudly. "Guess they thought they'd never get discovered… let that be a lesson to us all, eh? Never to be over confident."

"No, indeed," he agrees irritably, muttering in a low voice, "though, perhaps it would be wise to be more silent with your observations!"

"Yes. Yes… of course..." replies a deflated McKay.

And it saddens him… _a little_… that the human is attempting to be… agreeable… when Todd can feel the fear of Wraith emanating from every pore of the human's body… the Wraith feels hunger again too… and is making no endeavour to mask the fact… if it keeps McKay… attentive and ready to perform the duties required of him… so much the better… soon… but soon… he will be able to feed… he is certain of that…

Another dark corridor… another gantry… and they are looking down on the area with the sluice… hesitates… more dark stains… tilts back his head and hisses softly… why?... why should this bother him?... why should he bothered that this is the area where Sheppard had been held during the day?

McKay, once ahead, showing the way, comes back for him…

"What? What is it?" the Lantean asks in a low voice.

"Nothing of importance. Pray, lead on."

"I thought… I thought you'd seen something."

"No. Nothing," he repeats. All of the memories that were Sheppard's… Nothing… Nothing to him…

"They gave Sheppard a rough time down there. Killed two marines too." And Rodney shivers.

"Really?" he lies his surprise. Lies indifference. "Carry on, please."

Though they are soon in the room with the workstations. Rodney fires one screen up. The room blues and flickers.

"Total wipe out, huh? Take, what, ten, fifteen minutes. I've already been installing the virus. It'll just take a while to complete and activate. You think we have that long?" Glances back the way they've come. Voices in conversation can still be heard.

"Do not trouble yourself. Concentrate on the programme. I will deal with any eventualities." McKay's uneasy. Despite assurances.

"When we've finished here… We can go out through the Gate?"

"No. The Gate has been closed down."

"Oh…" and McKay continues to stab keyboard buttons at a rate of knots. But Todd sees… sees that he is also wondering… "You managed to figure out a way to jam the system then?" enquires McKay.

"Stargate Command engineered it." He can, at least be truthful about that. And it will allay any of McKay's suspicions.

"I take it that I'm leaving with you, then?" Todd offers neither affirmation nor confirmation. The scientist wriggles his shoulders and pulls at a sleeve before resuming. "You know, I'm just funny that way… looking ahead… planning… always planning…" Apprehension in a frown.

"You must make haste!" Todd orders.

"Ok! Ok!"

Then, regrets his brusqueness instantly and attempts, instead, to be more conciliatory, for he needs to know, needs to know what he already fears… that… McKay knows too much…

Peers over the scientist's shoulder, with interest in his expression and voice.

"Where is the device itself?"

"Next room," and the scientist waves a hand forward, dismissively, without looking up from the console. Biting a lip. Feigning concentration. Todd knows this. McKay's coughs into a fist. Swallows hard. His nervousness. "Beyond that lies the Gate." His voice squeaks which he corrects with another cough. "So they can ship the weapon through whenever they want, to where ever they want." He hears the faint tremor in McKay's speech as he attempts strength in his tone.

"You fully understand the weapon? In your opinion, it is sufficient to simply install the virus to render it non operational? Permanently? We do not need to plant explosives also… to leave no trace?"

It is the trigger that Todd requires. A litany follows. Of all the complexities. How great and wonderful and all-comprehensive McKay's understanding is of the weapon. Confirming… confirming what Todd has already surmised… that McKay knows too much… once released back to Atlantis… he cannot be released… this cannot happen… soon Todd… soon Todd can feed again… suppresses a snarl… becomes a half-hiss… now suppresses… the need to feed that must be in his eyes… McKay must complete his work first… and then… what is this?... what is this?...

Watches the face of the scientist as he works in the blue light… McKay still nervously chewing at his bottom lip… for he has guessed… he has guessed Todd's intention… but this is not… is not… does not concern the Wraith… McKay is no match for Todd in combat… he will succumb readily… no… no… no… sees the face… sees the face… as Sheppard sees… has seen the face… friend… aundama… feels the drive… the power… the energy that drove Sheppard to rescue his friend… the lengths he was prepared to go to for his friend… aundama… he cannot… he cannot be sharing this… this is weakness… this is Wraith weakness… it cannot be tolerated… McKay has to be sacrificed… as much as the crew of the Daedalus had to be sacrificed… later… Sheppard might understand this… what is this… what is this also?... a Wraith's concern what a human may think of him?... this is weakness… this is Wraith weakness… this is weakness that stems from human morality… he must shut this out… must shut out all those memories of McKay as friend that he has witnessed… the sharing of water… the blanket… the care… the bargaining for the life of Sheppard knowing there was little hope of his own release… McKay has to be silenced for the greater good… that is the way of the Wraith…

"That… er… um… that should do it." And McKay looks up at Todd… and he is rubbing sweaty palms together… he knows… McKay knows… the pleading in his eyes… and Todd needs… to feed… and McKay backs away from the console…

"Right… right…" Looking round desperately for a way out… when there is none… pity… pity… pity… this is human… "At least… at least stun me first, huh?" McKay croaks, backing away, down the line of consoles, eyes darting from side to side. "You know, dying man's last request and all that?"

…he needs to feed…

"Todd!" A loud hoarse whisper from the bottom of the stairs. The Wraith freezes. As if struck from behind.

"Sheppard!" McKay's eyes wide. Like the time the hood was removed.

The Wraith spins round.

And Sheppard's eyes… thoughts… full of warning.

Ronon further back, guarding the corridor.

"You don't touch him!" And Sheppard is bounding up the stairs two at a time. He has not used the stunner he carries. It is a mistake that he might live to regret…

"Do not interfere!" And he snarls his own warning at Sheppard. And he moves forward, to block Sheppard's advance. Strong now… strong now as a Wraith should be… The Colonel is compelled to halt at the very top. Both have stunners aimed at each other's chests. And Ronon is tempted to swing round and take a shot. But Sheppard is in the way. And voices below in the corridor are louder, shouting cries of alarm and Ronon's attention is forced back again to the darkness behind him.

"You promised you would not harm him! I trusted you!" Sheppard struggles to keep his voice low with the fury in his eyes.

"There is no alternative! He knows too much and will take that knowledge back to Atlantis! I cannot allow that to happen!"

"Oh, excuse me! 'He' can speak for himself!" puts in McKay.

"Yes?!!!" and Todd snaps back at the scientist behind him.

Who now whimpers… "Promise… I won't breathe a word. Honest. Scout's honour! My lips are sealed for ever!"

"And yes, Dr. McKay, to seal your lips forever _was_ my intention!"

"I'll vouch for him! I give you my word, he won't say anything! You-don't-touch-him!"

"You have nothing to bargain with Colonel! Your thinking is full of anomalies. How do you think you are ever going to leave here without me? There is hardly any point you waving that stunner at me either, is there?"

"You are weak! It wouldn't take so much to finish you!" And Sheppard raises the stunner, even knowing it is ineffectual. Desperate. His eyes are full of desperateness.

"Hah! And what of _your_ word, Sheppard? How much value has _your_ word? When it is you who have agreed that 'all bets are off' after this? Leave me to conclude my business!…" He turns back to McKay who is newly alarmed. Reaches for his beacon button to alert an awaiting dart to beam him and McKay up. As he cannot… will not… do this in front of Sheppard.

_Then why the dagger? Why the tattoo? Why the Wraith coat? Nothing to do with honour? Nothing to do with trust? Whose voice? Whose thought? The voice of a Wraith? The voice of Sheppard? _

And he turns back again, as Sheppard speaks again.

"We're gonna have to trust _you_! We're gonna have to trust _you_ not to tell other Wraith about Earth! That's the new bargain! Rodney keeps quiet! You keep quiet! That's the new deal!"

And now Ronon is firing into the corridor. They really must leave now…

"This argument has served little purpose but to alert the guards!" …as he approaches Rodney… as his hand drops from the stunner to the button. He sees Sheppard, reaching for the dagger… to be doubly sure…

"You would kill me with my own dagger, Sheppard? You know that you can't…" a voice half in mockery… half that is uncertain.

"Just watch me try! A new deal or not?!" And the knife is firmly in the Colonel's grip.

Feels confused. And it is not the threat itself that makes him hesitate… the look… the thought… that Sheppard would actually attempt this…

He shifts. Doubting.

"Don't-you-dare-touch-that-button!" yells Sheppard.

And then the confusion… outside of his mind. Shooting pain in both arms and chest… and head. Paralysed. The stunner falls clattering from his hands. Somehow… somehow… he has been shot?... Sheppard has… no… Sheppard is as surprised as he is… Ronon?... no… guards... and rapid gunfire from the other side of the gantry. Pain. Pain too great. Drops to the floor. Partly for cover. Partly… to recover. Will be slow… has not fed… dazed… slow motion… and McKay… unarmed… shouting… his hearing as white noise… then… deaf?… cannot distinguish words… McKay shouting… to pass his stunner?… and the sound of another stunner close by… Sheppard down low… crouched behind railings… returning fire… shouting… shouting to Ronon… Ronon returning fire also… behind and above him… impossible… outnumbered… but three guards down… recovering… must stretch for his beacon… Sheppard's screaming at him…

"Beam us all up, damn you!"

... the whine of the dart above the building… why?... it should not be so close… he has not called it as yet… too close… it will be brought down… why has the pilot behaved so stupidly?... the whine… is… wrong… fast approaching… louder… unless… it has been brought down already… louder… louder… screeching… shrieking… crashing, exploding through the ceiling… splintering concrete slabs like… autumn leaves… slow motion… black dart shape grinding… rumbling… banging… twisting… girders twisting… like storm blown trees… dust choking… he has recovered but the dust now choking his lungs… coughs… coughs until the tears come… blinding... noise deafening… so he hears no other thing… a strange silence that isn't silence… where… where to go… in this silence… this silence that preludes death… remain still… quiet… calm… accept this… accept this is the end… this is the end of all the years… the gantry shudders as finally the dart comes to rest… nose down… the canopy lifts… but the pilot is dead… the dart smoking ominously… smoke mixing with thick grey dust… it would be expedient to move now… where… where are the others?… no movement further on the gantry… the guards there all dead ?… the dust settles quickly as it is heavy… one guard hangs by his legs… odd that he is headless… a fragment of roof larger than the dart lying to his left… the spot where McKay has last been seen… noises coming back… Ronon still shouting, still shooting down the corridor… Sheppard… has fallen, slipped down, thrown down the stairs…

"I'm…"

…half-sitting, half slouching, back to the railings…

"I'm…"

…he is pale… a splinter of debris in his shoulder… blood glistens there… the stunner motionless in his lap… he moves towards the Colonel… to help… though there is still pain across his own shoulders…

"Sheppard…"

"Let's go! Let's go!" Ronon… screaming… running to the stairs to scoop up Sheppard by the one good shoulder…

"Rodney," says Sheppard feebly… and Ronon glances up to the Wraith… with a face grimed and sweaty and desperate… understands in a look what has befallen the scientist…

"We go now," and Ronon says no more… no more than that… and drags Sheppard to the corridor that Ronon has just cleared of guards… Sheppard rallied now and yelling back…

"You got what you damn well wanted, Todd! Hope you're fucking glad! Hope you're fucking glad!"

…crying back…

"Damn you, Todd! I'm gonna kill you!… I swear I'm gonna kill you!"

...would do it now... there... then... but Ronon is urging him on... "No time! Later!"

…swiftly follows the pair… what else can he do?... picking up the two stunners… and... why should he be… _hurt_ by Sheppard's words?… the truth... he has got what he wanted… Rodney is dead... but he did not want… to be hurt by Sheppard's words…

...running into the darkness… a siren madly waaing… will soon draw in more guards… this is futile… there is no where to run to… nowhere for a rescue… he needs to send a message to his hive… another dart… but a mind that is too full… too full of… _human_ hurt… he has been the cause of osaundama… and that in turn… has caused his own osaundama… he has lost a… friend… hah… Wraith have no friends… fellow warriors… not friends… no... no... lost a friend…

...soon… the courtyard… the siren has stopped its wailing… still in the moonlight… frost in the air… this is dangerous… this is an ambush… sniffs the cold still air… humans in the shadows…

"Ronon Dex," he warns, careful to keep his voice low… fearful that even his breathing and the beating of his Wraith heart will alert the guards.

"Yeah, where?" …the Satedan senses them too…

"North-west… the window and the doorway."

"We go back?" hisses Sheppard.

…they find another doorway and enter… he has alerted them to danger… they are a team…

…_ I won't forget Rodney. I won't forget what the bastard tried to do to Rodney…_

…but knows that Sheppard has not forgotten… there's only one way they can go now…

…_crap!_ _Can you believe all these dead ends?!_

…the thought… the sensation they have simply gone in a circle…

…_have we just gone round in a goddamned circle?_...

…this is foolish…

…_this is stupid, how could we have done this?_...

…face death… turn and face death…

…_last stand…_ _like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid…_

…into a larger room… a skylight allows in the moon… a single white beam catches the turquoise… the Stargate… breath taking…

…_takes your breath away…_

…senses it is… untouched for millennia…

…_hasn't been touched for_ _thousands of years…_

…and now touched by this iniquity…

…_touched by these fucking people…_

… so, so wrong…

…_wrong…_

…ha!… you think so too?... Sheppard's morality?…

…_get out of my head…_

…movement… Sheppard!...

…_hits the ground… weight of Todd on his back… breath out of his lungs… Todd… has… saved him?_... _again?!_

_Ronon firing… Todd rolls over and is firing… his own hand whips up one of the stunners and he is firing also… yelling, crying because of the pain… bastards!_..._ yelling and crying because of Rodney… bastards!_... _yelling and crying because of all the things that have happened here… bastards!_..._ for Adams… for Norton… for Hendrick… for Paulo…_

…flashes of gunfire… blue and yellow… light up the Stargate… break up the moonbeam… iniquity… and he is firing also… face death… soon the stunner batteries will fade… soon even Ronon Dex's gun will fade… face death… like this Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid… and Ronon grins… yeah… and he has saved Sheppard just to face death… it matters little… this is death with honour… this is death with comrades… perhaps with friends?… no... Sheppard will never forgive him... and suddenly the room is flashed with turquoise light as the Stargate activates…

…_what the hell?_...

…is it O'Neill who has done this?... the foaming shoots out and recedes… a bang above the gunfire… an explosion behind the guards… a hard percussion in the air that makes them flinch and lower their heads... the guards are running with panic…

…_what the hell is going on?_...

…running in panic to the gate… straight into the line of fire…

…_sitting ducks…_

…why are they running?… two make it through the gate… then... rumbling… shuddering at their feet… what is this?...

…_what now?_...

"Run!"

…What is this?....

"Run!"

…and McKay is running… skittering sideways to shout as he passes…

"Run!"

…wildly pointing towards the Gate… running towards the Gate…

"Rodney!" _Somehow, he is still alive_…

"No time… Colonel… Run!"

"Rodney!"

…all running…

"Pressed the self-detonate on the dart… got the Gate open… problem is-"

-oAo-

"My superiors aren't too pleased with this." And O'Neill wasn't exactly too pleased either. As he studied footage of aerial reconnaissance just in.

"Well, you just tell them that losing five square miles of pine forest is a whole damn sight better than a solar system!" And an afterthought. "And it's not like we had anything to do with this!" And another afterthought. "Nor that it was done intentionally." Well… he hoped not.

Another assistant. At another console. "No evidence of radiation, sir, so we're moving in units for a ground search."

O'Neill acknowledged his thanks with a nod.

"Not that they're going to find anything," muttered Cameron under his breath.

"No. Don't think Sheppard…" could have survived this time, pursing his lips, rubbing a cheek, hating it when he had to admit to stuff like that. And he'd said it too many times before, about too many good people.

"The… 'hive' ship has hailed us, sir, and is requesting a search for their… 'men.'" The technician still couldn't get his mind round the fact that he was dealing with actual aliens.

"That's a no," said O'Neill without a second thought. "Tell them to leave before we blast them out of the sky."

"Sir?" Cameron a little concerned at his general's hasty judgement. Low, under his breath, careful not to allow the Norwegians to hear. "I don't think we can actually _physically_ do that… _sir_. Even if we are all a little pissed off at the moment. They _are_ cloaked, and the Daedalus is halfway between here and Atlantis. It's not like it was _their_ fault either."

"That's still a 'no.' I'm not letting them anywhere near Earth." hissed back O'Neill. "And you can bet your bottom dollar, they're not looking for Todd but for remains of this weapon."

"The same as us, you mean?" Raising an eyebrow. O'Neill grunted a sort of agreement. "Look," pointed out Cameron, "we've only got Todd's word that these guys won't go off and tell every Wraith in the Pegasus about Earth's location and it's looking like Todd's dead… I think we should be more… amenable… let them land even… _make_ them land even… and then we can take them on the ground and get ourselves a hive ship to boot."

"They'll be ready for that, you know that… and we could lose a lot more men." Receptive to the suggestion, nevertheless.

"Better this way, than let them go."

A cough. The Norwegian technician. O'Neill scowls in his direction. He hates being interrupted - even by a cough. Even by one of those… discreet coughs.

"A message from Cheyenne Mountain, sir." The Norwegians and any Nato allies have not been told what SGC stands for. All they know is that its top secret. Very.

"Well?" He asks a little irritably, peering over Cameron's shoulder, who has turned to face the tech.

"They've had a message from… Atlantis? Yes. That it what it says. Atlantis." Obviously the guy must think it's a code word for somewhere. Something. Someone. "Medics and a unit have been sent to Valdeenan? To assist Colonel Sheppard, Dr. McKay and Ronon Dex. And there is a gentleman with them who requires the return of his ship?"

Cameron turns round, and he and O'Neill stare at one another.

"They made it through the Gate!" They say simultaneously.

- oAo -

Slowly.

Slowly does it.

Though he knows it's going to hurt.

Dust and gravel scrape at his face as he lifts his head.

Oh crap!

Not good. And the pain shoots round his neck and up the back of his skull. And he sees white. And the world, already at an odd angle, tilts and slides. Whooa… Slowly. With his cheek back on the dirt, he re- focuses his eyes at the movement that had woken him. A black shape in the mist. Concentrates harder with a frown. Todd. He mumbles. As he knows its Todd.

'_What yer doing?__'_

Just gotta know what he's doing. And why is the bastard always so goddamned lucky? Todd's on his feet already… couldn't have healed that quickly… then… he's just fed... Ronon! Rodney!... pushes himself off the ground… where are they?!!!... Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!… falls, collapses, rolls over to his back… and that only makes it worse, coz, damn, its his back that's hurt… from the blast… _a_ blast… _one_ of the blasts… groaning… tears coming to his eyes… fuck!... and rolls back to his stomach, gasping… must have caught a ton of shrapnel in his back when that thing exploded…

'_You are awake?'_

'_No!_..._ No, I'm not!_..._ Just pretending!_..._'_

'_Sheppard?'_

'_Nothing… What yer doing?'_

...Blearily opens his eyes again… panting with the effort… hell, just panting to breath!... oh… as Todd stoops to feed on the second of the two guards who'd also made it through the gate…

"Where's Ronon and Rodney?" he asks out loud, biting back the pain hard on his teeth… he'd better had not fed on them… he'd better had not fed on them…

"Here," says Ronon… and a movement… to his right… behind his head… and then Ronon comes into view… half crawling, dragging two bloodied legs behind him… wincing… a lot less than he ought to be… and why is _this _bastard always so goddamned brave…

"You ok?" slurring a stupid question… coz… how could he be?...

"Been better."

"Me… too… Rodney?"

"Still out cold." And Ronon squints over somewhere near Todd, " though doesn't look hurt, perhaps he just fainted."

"Ronon!"

"What?" A what-have-I-done-now-sort-of-what… and they manage a laugh… though it hurts… coz… somehow its good to be alive…

"I thought… I thought Todd had fed on him…"

"Wouldn't dare…" and Ronon looks down at the gun he's still miraculously carrying… then Todd is near Rodney… and Ronon is more serious… more alert… and Todd bends down…

"Move away from him!" warns Ronon… and Todd looks up surprised…

"I merely wish to check his pulse, Colonel…"

"It's ok, Ronon."

…but Ronon doesn't lower his gun…

"If the Satedan wishes to tire his arm, so be it," says Todd… and its true, that Ronon arm shakes… not fury… not anger as you'd expect… the guy is hurting badly.

…but Todd now stands anyway…

"Your Dr. Mckay lives… I will dial the gate for Atlantis now?" ...he peers through those silver trellises of his… from Ronon… to Sheppard… almost subservient…

'_Todd?_..._'_

'_Colonel?_..._'_

'_There's no need to be like this…'_

…for he remembers now… he remembers the last thing that happened before he launched himself through the Gate… he remembers the first explosion… he remembers that Rodney tripped and fell… he remembers Todd's swift movement towards Rodney… he remembers the second explosion… the explosion out of hell… the searing heat of a fireball… his back seeming to explode also… but he only falls to his knees because he knew he had to get through that Gate…

...and he could see it… the faint shimmer of turquoise through the smoke… but seeming so far away… so far when you... still... had... to... get... up… through the dust and the smoke and choking heat… but Rodney was still on the ground… and it must have saved him from the second explosion… that and the fact that Todd had thrown himself over Rodney… and Todd had stood and staggered and healed… a little… before hauling Rodney to his feet and pushing the dazed scientist through the event horizon… and then the third explosion… and Sheppard fell to his hands… and then began to crawl, because it was the only way he was ever going to do this thing… and Todd had turned to pick up Ronon but Ronon had pushed him away, calling back to Sheppard… Sheppard was back there… left alone… left behind… crawling now on his belly, dragging forward with his elbows… another explosion and he wouldn't make it… and choking now on the dust… and losing all sight of the gate… heat and red dust and red smoke swirling above him… and the loud crackle of flames nearby… and Todd there… like… like… some devil in hell…

...and hauls him to the gate… but a fourth and a fifth explosion… and they're both hitting the ground again… and Todd hurt bad… really bad… not even a Wraith can get over that… he has taken the full impact… 'come on…' and he takes Todd round the chest… this is impossible… how can he do this?... 'leave me… leave me…' Todd says... and God he's so tempted… this is a Wraith after all… a Wraith who, only half an hour earlier had tried to kill Rodney… but this… Wraith has just saved Rodney and probably Ronon… and Sheppard… _twice_… and somehow… 'we never leave anyone behind, you know'… there's only inches to go… inch by inch… inch by inch he hitches the weight that is Todd and his own wracked body towards the gate… 'leave me… the Gate will not survive another explosion… you will never get through…' 'I told you… I told you… we never leave anyone behind…' 'Sheppard's morality?'… 'what?...' and wormhole travel… and blue sky… and blackness that he can fall into…

'_Todd?'_

...this telepathy is good… no need to breathe out words that cut… though his mind is not nearly clear enough… and the Wraith is on his knees beside him… he can't move… all that is in his vision is the black blur of Todd's coat…

'_Todd? You don't have to do this… to see after us… ouch!_..._'_

…Todd has touched his back…

'_Checking your wounds, Colonel. They are… numerous.' _

…if he could see Todd, he knows the Wraith would be shaking his head…

'_Tell me about it!'_

'_If you had not been wearing the Wraith coat…'_

'_I'd be dead… yeah, probably…'_

Todd's attention is drawn to Rodney who is waking. And Ronon, pushes with his arms to stand, grunting with the effort, pausing for a moment before staggering over. Rodney raises a hand to his forehead, groaning.

"I'm dying!"

"No, you're not," says Ronon, slumping down heavily at his side.

"And how would you know?" and Rodney peers through his fingers at Ronon, about to contradict him and for a moment shocked at the state of the tall guy.

"Oh, you'd just about do _anything_ to get into one of Jenny's beds, wouldn't you?!!!"

Todd turns back to Sheppard, a flicker of a smile on his face, and speaks aloud so that the others might hear.

"I have contacted Atlantis, Colonel and requested assistance for you and the others, which will arrive presently. I have chosen to leave now… another alliance ship will pick me up once I have passed through the Gate…"

'_Why? Why leave?'_

'_Oh, there appears to be more reasons than moons around Galixtis' _…no, even Radek had lost count at 2304…_ 'I have no wish… to be accountable for everything that has happened… I do not feel I wish to face the questioning that will be inevitable… and the longer I am away from my alliance… the more distrust my absence will be in the eyes of my brethren… I would not wish them to know that I did not complete my task and take the life of Dr. McKay… it would indicate a certain… weakness on my part… at least… not for the present…_ _and I must leave before I change my mind and decide I cannot trust you after all to keep the weapon a secret…'_

'_Seems like enough reasons… but what… what made you change your mind?_..._ about… killing Rodney?'_

'_And what made you change yours?_..._ about killing me?'_

'_You've saved my life, again… would be impolite of me, wouldn't it? But before then… you changed your mind before then…'_

_'You saved my life also...'_

…no, even before then... he'd saved Rodney first... coverin up… the Wraith was covering up… no… no… the hurt in the Wraith's eyes… Sheppard had seen it… on the stairs… running with Ronon... Todd couldn't conceal it… Sheppard had been witness to the raw hurt that was in the Wraith's eyes…

... no… no… it had been the hatred in Sheppard's eyes… made savage with the black tattoo... the Wraith hoped never to see that hatred again and be so hurt by it…

… and both turn away from those thoughts…

…and neither admit the truth…

…and the ancient says it is aundama that makes good men do these things…

'_Good-bye, Colonel, till we meet again… I believe it is customary to shake hands at a time like this…'_ and Sheppard sees a hand offered… hesitates… and Todd chortles… it is an old joke with him that never wears thin… and simply pats Sheppard on the shoulder before rising…

"Hey!" ...and Sheppard takes a deep breath and rolls over… yeah… it's going to do some damage… and holds out his right hand… he knows that Todd didn't have to do half the things he has done… didn't have to save his life… didn't have to try and destroy the weapon… didn't have to _not_ kill McKay… even now… even now… the Wraith could take all three of them as they lay on the ground…Todd stoops down… grunting and nodding his approval as they grasp and lock arms…

"I've… I've" and it hurts to talk like this so he swallows hard. "I've sorta lost count…" and he has to take a breath already. "Who owes what? I guess we're quits?"

A wry smile. "If you could get my ship back, I would consider it so."

Sheppard collapses back over to his front again and it's a whole lot easier so he resorts back to telepathy, to hell with the odd looks it's gonna earn him from Ronon and Rodney._ 'Is that the ship with all the data on board about the location of Earth and the new super quick way of getting there? That going to be a 'no' probably… at least... not until we've looked at said data… I'll see what I can do…'_

'_It is not good enough!'_ Feigning anger.

'_What?!…oh… another joke… full of them, eh?… but I still think we're quits… I'd be doing this…_' Go on, John, force it out, force it out… _'I'd be doing this as… a favour…'_

'_A favour? To me?'_

'_Yeah…' _Why did the Wraith have to be quite so damned surprised?

'_But I have no wish to be indebted to anyone…'_

'_Then… you're going to have to learn to live with it… you know, this could go on forever, until we agree we are quits.'_

'_Then it is agreed… We are… quits.'_

'_Yeah… agreed…'_

'_And all bets are off again?…'_

'_Yeah…'_ and he nods, which hurts like hell…

…and the Wraith looks back before going through the Gate, and murmurs a word that only Sheppard hears…

"What was all that about?" asks Rodney, when the Gate stills again. "And, um, what's with the tattoo thingy?"

"…tell you… one day…" perhaps… meanwhile… he was… for now… just going to lay down his head… wait... and try not to die… again...

End


End file.
